A Fresh Breath

Walking the Line

2012-01-24T00:37:00.001-05:00

I've been spending a lot of time recently talking about how to manage feelings - emotions. I have been coming up with long lists of ways to not feel, not acknowledge the truth of emotions, and just operate in this place of cool, collected, and calculated. And I'm exhausted. (Can I get an amen from anyone out there?)

You see, a lot of the stuff out there for Christian women to learn from has much to do with "not letting your emotions drive the bus" or "lead the train" or operate any other mode of transportation. I've even heard that I, as a woman, should I ever find someone to walk life with, need to somehow forget or ignore that I feel and manually adjust my communication so that it can translate for that guy. Now, I know how this sounds - there are a lot of "I"s in that last sentence, but bear with me for a second.

God created me. He knit me together. He formed me to respond to this world in a very specific way. I see through scripture that God has emotions. He feels and acts in those feelings. Jesus turns tables over in a temple, reaches out to a woman who is scorned by men around her, and he bends his knee in agony before he is crucified. There is color and beauty to the feelings he has - a rawness and even peacefulness in knowing that the one who commanded the stars into being appreciated their beauty.

The very emotions that cause me to get excited about the Lord in worship, appreciate the beauty of a sunny day, and bring tears to my eyes out of pain, are the same ones that I've been advised in different seasons of my life to lay down and ignore. It hasn't worked - in fact, it's probably worsened pressure and trauma in my life. I've been so eager to make my emotions "make sense" rather than just acknowledging that they are there, legitimate, and not always big enough to mandate a life change or even a small change.

I'd like to take it a step further. I believe that we should celebrate that we feel- and celebrate what we feel. Example. The classic story of a girl liking a guy. Let's pretend she's a pretty decent girl and he's got his stuff together.Typically what happens is the girl has some sort of emotional response to said guy and begins this process of analyzing her feelings, his actions, her actions, his words, her words, his thoughts, her thoughts, her breathing, his breathing, ad infinitum. She pictures him in different scenarios in her life - what he'd be like on a date, as a boyfriend, as a husband, as a father, with her family. And then her lunch break is over and she goes back to work - only to start the process again when he sends a text message about something they have to accomplish in the next week. But what if, instead of applying logic and analysis to the emotion - she just celebrated the fact that God has created her to respond to good things in a person. Because it's not bad for someone to appreciate and be attracted to someone who has qualities that are...worth appreciating. Does this mean she has to start something with him? Nope. But it does mean that she can rejoice in the emotions she has - and be free to be who she is.

Another example - one that I acted on. The other night, I was playing piano and singing with the worship team. I was legitimately excited about who God is, struck by His presence and just really pumped that He loves me. I couldn't stay seated, so I got up and moved around as I played piano. I had to - the emotion mandated a change - there was freedom to feel and act in that feeling. And the cool part is that I felt more like myself in that moment than I would have if I just stayed where I was.

That same joy and passion that makes me want to move around and dance for my Lord comes from the same place that responds to great people in my life, a beautiful sunrise, a man I respect.

"I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

So I wonder what would happen if we took the time to celebrate that and what we feel. Here's my hypothesis:

1) We'd be to identify WHY we are feeling what we are
2) We wouldn't be so anxious about the fact that we are feeling anything
3) We'd analyze a bit less
4) We'd praise Him a bit more
5) We'd love others better

What does it look like? Say that I get angry - so angry that I start crying. Before moving, acting, doing. I stop and praise Him for the fact that I'm alive and feeling something. I ask Him to show me truth in my feelings and I ask Him to help. And I breathe. And all of this happens before I react. Crazy? Maybe. But it works so much better than the other option of "not letting my emotions play a role". They're meant to. They were created to. So I'm going to acknowledge that, celebrate that, and invite you to do the same. It is for freedom to live, breathe, and experience His life that He has set us free.

Focus on Jesus, Little One

2011-12-31T15:30:00.004-05:00

Obligatory disclaimer: I'm going to go ahead and jump on the "New Year's Eve" blog post train.

I had the day off yesterday, which allowed for some reflection and rest. As it stands, it's 11:40AM, and I'm still in my PJs. You have to love vacation.

Yesterday, after cooking up some food for the week, I felt the need to pull out a journal that my dad started writing almost a year before I was born. I brewed some tea in my oversized mug and began to read. I don't think I've ever gotten through the whole thing - but if I have, I didn't remember. My dad gave this to me when I was 18 - so I started with that letter first. As I poured over the pages which shed insight into my parents' pre-parenting life, the shock of having a daughter with deformed ears, and the journey they experienced as God provided options and opportunity, I was reminded of how God was shaping my life even in the womb.

My dad didn't know whether I was a girl or a boy, but if you read his letters, you can tell that he was made to father a daughter. The tenderness of God the Father is reflected throughout the pages- the kind a daughter needs to learn that she is cherished. Even when sharing what my name would be, either Amy or Matthew, Amy came first. From the womb, I loved music. He shared about a time when they attended a symphony orchestra concert and I was "kicking up a storm". On the first vacation they took with me, dad had me in the front-facing carrier while walking on the beach - and I was mesmerized by the water - I loved the sea.

In one of his first letters he penned this line, "Focus on Jesus, little one - we are. Together, knit as one - as a family - we will thrive." So I turn to where I am now in my 26 years of life. I cried a little as I realized how many times I've forgotten that this truth - this focus on Jesus - is so so hard to do. It's hard to do on the daily level - to reflect on Him and learn more about Him, and live your life based on that learning. It's something you have to fight for - and sometimes fighting gets tiring. But it's something that I deeply long for. To acknowledge Him in creation, in the sweet moments of life, in the pain, and the confusing situations that come our way.

"You make me new, You are making me new."

So what does focusing on Jesus look like each day? It starts with worship and time in His word (hardest for me), talking to Him, then progresses into what we make of our time - the decisions we make. To be intentional about serving others, being generous with our resources, and being aware of people around us who need a friend to walk out life with. It's not loud, but it's intentional.

A new year brings a sense of hope and promise. And more than anything, my hope is that somehow through all the of the chaos, I remember that the Lord is intimately involved in my life as a Father, Husband, and Leader - and show others the same thing through the way I live.

2011 was a year of change and transition, as was 2010. I'm praying for some steady, rootedness over the next year as the Lord establishes my ministry here.

May He be glorified.

Amy

Breaking Free: Isaiah 61:1-4 Memorized

2011-10-11T00:15:00.000-05:00

Breaking Free - The Beginning of My Journey

2011-10-03T00:15:00.000-05:00

I've started a new journey today. After ignoring several women throughout the years who have recommended this to me, I've finally picked up Breaking Free by Beth Moore. My church was gracious enough to offer a book/resource to our small group leaders, and this, by no small coincidence was the one I chose. Time for honesty.

For almost a year now, I've been meeting with a Christian counselor to help discover some of the reasons why I've pursued contentment, affirmation and stress relief in places that aren't lasting. Even though I've been fighting and desiring for these habits to disappear, the draw to these shallow comforts seems relentless. And finally, this past Monday, God, by His grace and patience with me, began to peel back the blinders for me to see.

I've been reluctant to write about it because a life of defeat and continual battling isn't a story that many want to hear- or is it? I found that as I have read the first two chapters of Beth Moore's book, I've acknowledged and had a quiet relief that other women - Godly, educated, and driven women, have experienced brokenness like I have. But, Beth challenges the reader to take it one step further. This isn't a book that you can just read. It's interactive - it requires action and a Bible (or a Bible app, for you smart phone users) She wants us to...(ready for it?)...memorize Scripture.

The last time I committed a passage of God's Word to memory was probably sometime in college...so a while ago. I grew up in a Christian school, so Bible memory was associated with weekly quizzes and tests that assessed if I had actually memorized the verse. My dad and I would spend time each week memorizing the Word together. At the time, it was about the grade, but even now, I still remember verses from my 7th grade Bible course taught by Mr. Dudics. Verses like Hebrews 11:1-3, 2 Corinthians 10:5, James 4:7. The memorization of His Word has proven fruitful and necessary time and time again. I still go back to 2 Corinthians 10:5- "We demolish arguments and every pretention that sets itself up against the knowledge of Christ. We take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ." His Word is integral in our healing.

I want to invite you into this journey with me as I read Breaking Free. I'm at a place now in my life that I am ready- truly ready - to find the kind of freedom that I can raise my voice and dance over. I'm ready for the kind of healing that is demonstrated in the secret crevices of my heart and in the community that I live in. It's a bit terrifying to bring you with me, to be honest, but my hope, much like Beth's is for the reader, is that someone - even if it's one person- will read this and feel both a sense of relief and a call to action to address the strongholds in their life and find lasting freedom.

The verse for memory this week:

Isaiah 61:1-4

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor, he has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion- to give them beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified. They shall build up the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former devastations; they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations.

When I Speak Your Name

2011-09-13T22:12:00.000-05:00

Tonight, I promised myself some time to journal and reflect on where I've been with the Lord for the past - oh I don't know - month or so? I was at Chipotle on Saturday with a few friends and we met this guy who was passing out flyers for a revival meeting at Dodgers Stadium. After chatting for a little bit, I asked if we could pray for him - and he shared a bit about how the Lord had shaken him from a place of "just doing the Faith" - not actually living in relationship/reliance with Jesus. Man...yeah, that's where I've been - and where I'm walking out of. It's this place where my interaction with God is staled by my pride, my avoidance of His word, and my hard-heartedness towards the One who calls me His.

Here's the grace, though. I got over myself - got off of facebook - and laid it all out before the Lord in my journal. I confessed, which led me to realize how frustrated I have been with my prayer life- how shallow and me-centric it's been, so I started to pray for other people. I watched as He put names in my mind and on my heart. It's not that God has been distant from me, but I've literally been distant from Him. And my heart aches.

As I was finishing up writing, this song came into my mind- I've sung it only once, but it's such a powerful reminder that when we find ourselves pridefully avoiding His voice, we need to only utter one thing- His name.

"When I Speak Your Name" - Kari Jobe

The lyrics, for those who prefer not to listen:

Jesus, the most beautiful Name
of all names
Jesus, the only Name
that brings healing and strength

When I speak Your name,
Mountains move, chains are loosed
When I speak Your name,
Darkness flees; it has no hold on me

Jesus, most beautiful name that I know
You're the exalted One
Jesus, You have the power alone
You lift the lowly one, Jesus

Jesus the most wonderful
Name of all names
Jesus the only Name
that brings freedom and hope

When I speak Your name,
Mountains move, chains are loosed
When I speak Your name,
Darkness flees; it has no hold on me

Jesus, most beautiful name that I know
You're the exalted One
Jesus, You have the power alone
You lift the lowly one, Jesus

Be exalted, Be exalted
Be exalted higher and higher.
--

May this be an encouragement to you, if you're not on speaking terms with the Lord. Just speak His name and let Him touch your heart. There's life in that place, purpose and hope.

Love,
Amy

Freedom.

2011-07-20T00:03:00.002-05:00

It's been a lot about me recently.

My story, thoughts, feelings.

And the other night I felt like I had nothing but a grey pile of sticky muck to offer the Lord in confession.

It's been a lot about me recently. And the only way for that to change is to live like it isn't - intentionally.

Life comes when I sit and serve in the presence of the One who made me and let Him sing, speak and guide.

My heart will sing no other name- Jesus... Jesus.

Fairy Tales Fading

2011-06-26T11:08:00.002-05:00

One of my best friends from college is getting married in August. I still remember that day I met Paul in the lobby of Read dorm - the beginning of an incredible gift of him serving me with his brotherhood for the next 6+ years. I'm honored by the opportunity to sing in his wedding and the song that he and his lovely bride-to-be have chosen is "Love" by Sara Groves. The lyrics:

love I made it mine
I made it small I made it blind
I followed hard only to find
it wasn't love
it wasn't love

love of songs and pen
oh love of movie endings
takes out the break
leaves out the bend
misses love

love not of you
love not of me
come hold us up
come set us free
not as we know it
but as it can be

love's reality
is not a passing bravery
it holds out hope beyond what's seen
the hope of love

love not of you
love not of me
come hold us up
come set us free
not as we know it
but as it can be

I post these because the truth in this short song is one that God has been graciously teaching and bringing to fruition in my life over the past 12 months. I left Indiana feeling as if I had somehow missed a proverbial boat- not finding "the one" to walk with me in life. I didn't find him in college and I didn't find him in graduate school. But after some time of being in Los Angeles, I began to realize that the eagerness or urgency I felt while in school began to fade. And it is frankly because of the first two blocks of lyrics in the song. This is obviously nothing new or profound, but the actual discovery of this truth for me has been both.

I used to roll my eyes when my mom encouraged me to move out on my own, get a job and be able to take care of myself first. I found it to be a bit "dream squashing". But, as I've gotten just slightly older, I realized that she wasn't speaking generally as much as she was speaking to me. I've got this impatient and driven personality that needed (and still needs!) to be honed and refined. What better way to do that than to throw myself into a church community, a job, and a life of discovery and curiosity? Because it is through doing those things that I discover that this image of what I've called "love" isn't complete - and frankly, at times, has been just plain incorrect.

I was talking to a friend last night and said that I am happy- single, working, in community, and happy. She questioned the truth of that statement. I chuckled as I refined my statement. I said, "Shannon, don't get me wrong, I very much look forward to the day where it makes sense- when there's a man who comes into my life and we can walk together. I do want that. But, today, on June 25th, that isn't my reality. And today, I woke up happy - not BECAUSE I'm single- but happy in my singleness, in the reality that is my life."

What I'm trying to encourage here is for all of us- regardless of whether we're single, married, divorced, widowed - whatever - there's an opportunity to see this day as one that we can serve others and be excited about it. Happiness and contentment are not sourced in others, but in Christ - His blessings in relationship, finances, and experiences are meant to be attributed back to Him.

I guess I'm grateful that God is such a protector that He doesn't let my excitement dictate His will and plan for the world or for my life - or others' lives.

So my prayer for that man who, Lord willing, will come soon - and the one over my day and life today:

"Love not of you, love not of me, come hold us up, come set us free. Not as we know it, but as it can be."

To Mama With Love

2011-05-08T18:46:00.002-05:00

This post will be brief, but I wanted to take a minute to highlight the beautiful skill of the folks over at Epic Change. They are just $51 away from reaching a $20,000 goal- a goal that, if reached by 11:59 EST tonight, will mean the receipt of a $5,000 matching grant that will go towards making significant differences in children's lives.

Watch the video.

And show your Mama some love through the support of amazing women making a difference in our world.

With gratitude,

Amy

Discovering Christ

2011-04-22T12:09:00.005-05:00

Last night, I was over at my pastor's house to catch the NBC Thursday night sitcom string. Halfway through 30 Rock, the Reverend (as I affectionately call him) and I began talking about the dangers of some of the approaches to correcting, rebuking and even just discussing that certain Christian leaders have today.

I won't go into everything (and everyone) we talked about- because that really isn't the point. The point - at least for me - is that I'm beginning to realize that the purpose of the Church (and church) is to point others toward Jesus - to be in relationship with Him through teaching His Word. It's to hang out with those that society and the teachers of the law reject. It's to wrestle through tough questions about God. It's to promote mercy and justice for those forgotten and unheard. But to do all of this with humility, gentleness, and respect. (Ephesians 4:10-24) Seriously, take a look at those verses.

See, here's the thing. I don't think being a Christian, believing that Jesus is Lord, is about us "being right". I mean, as a Christian, I am affirming that I believe Jesus is the only way to salvation- restoring and redeeming me into relationship with God - which means I am NOT affirming other faiths. But, is me being right even the point? Let's make it more "in the family". What value - seriously - does it have for me to approach my brother/sister with an "I'm right" mentality when it comes to their convictions? Does it not make more sense for us to come together and look at the source of knowledge for our faith- the Word of God? Can we do that together as brother and sister? "Man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy him forever," right? Last I checked it doesn't say, "Man's chief end is to declare how correct he is, thus glorifying God."

We preach and teach...but when pastors and leaders start acting as gatekeepers for heaven- we have a problem don't we? If I attest to the Apostles Creed and am working out what I think about certain elements of the faith, and I get it wrong, my hope would be that a brother or sister would come along side and show me, through Scripture, where I'm off.

Trevor (my pastor) brought up something interesting. Peter- the rock upon which Christ built His church who had hung out with Jesus, learned directly from Jesus - didn't even fully get it until years after Christ had returned to the Father. In Acts 10, we learn of the story of Cornelius and Peter. Peter had a vision where he was hungry, God laid out a plethora of food and commanded Peter to eat. Peter refused, saying he had never touched or consumed anything "unclean". He had this back-and-forth with God 3 times. After the 3rd time, God said to Peter, "What God has made clean, do not call common or unclean" (v. 15). He then is introduce to Cornelius, a Gentile. God had brought Cornelius to Peter. "So Peter opened his mouth and said: 'Truly I understand that God shows no partiality, but in every nation anyone who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him.'"

So Trevor's point- and mine now - is that if Peter didn't get it, how slow should we be to proclaiming that we get it fully? How much should this humility shape our approach to each other - to the Rob Bells, the John Pipers? Even more so, how should this shape our approach to those dealing with sin - you know, people like you and me?

For years, I have spent time in churches that address specific sins, specific government stances, and thus alienating people and ending any opportunity for questions and "working it through". I believe that Jesus is Lord and is a great and might Savior, but there are some things in the Bible - which I also believe to be the Word of God- that I just don't get and in fact, they weird me out. I imagine that I'm not the only one. Shouldn't the leaders and pastors of churches be committed to engaging in discussion, pointing to resources, and dare I say be OK with not knowing the answers fully?

I thought, for a while, that 1 Peter 3:15 meant that I needed to have an answer to every question about my faith. I'd memorize apologetics books, get into long debates about theology. I got really tired really quickly. So, over the past few years, I've been almost resistant to debating anything. But no, if you look at the surrounding verses- the reason for the hope that we have is Christ. He came to bring salvation and redemption. Do I understand the fullness of that? Nope. Do I have some questions? Yep. But I believe it with every ounce of my being. My relationship with God is the most real, lasting relationship I have. So, my goal should be to spend time with others who share that relationship, questioning, wrestling and learning more about who Jesus is and what He has for us as His followers.

Be wary of the temptation that comes with knowing and believing in truth - latching on to pride and the need to be right.

2 Peter 1:5-9 says, "For this very reason (see verse 3 and 4 for 'the reason'), make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins." (emphasis added)

Those of us in the church are on this journey to find who we are in the Lord- what that means and how that looks in our day-to-day. Maybe our focus should be on that. The judgement that I believe should come from the pulpit is that which calls us all (even the preacher) into account and points us to the reason for the hope that we have - calling us to not be lukewarm, to love God and our neighbor, and to encourage and walk with one another as we discover Christ.

~ACW

Thanks to Trevor DeBenning, pastor at RISEN Church in Santa Monica, CA for coming alongside and offering some food for thought as I continue to process this.

Hold It Lightly

2011-04-20T00:49:00.004-05:00

I feel like this post has been welling up in me over the past few days and I'm still not completely sure how it will unfold- ah, the beauty of writing. It might seem a little jumbled, so forgive me for that.

Right now, I'm listening to Fernando Ortega's version of "Give Me Jesus" - an anthem that I go to often in my prayers and thoughts. The lyrics alone seem a bit trite - "Give me Jesus, Give me Jesus. You can have all this world, but give me Jesus." But, I was thinking about what that actually means. Jesus- the source of life, salvation. Jesus- the lover of the afflicted and the poor. Jesus- the defender of the rejected and abused. Jesus- the One who welcomes children and feeds the hungry. Jesus- the hater of injustice and hypocrisy. Jesus- the Giver, teacher, and bringer of peace. Jesus- the One who controls the earth- whose words quiet the storm.

I've been the recipient of some pretty incredible blessings in the past month - I've been so encouraged by the way that the Lord provides for our needs - the way we need them to be met. But in the midst of all of this, the words of a wise man ring in my heart- "Hold it lightly"- all of the blessings we have are meant to be received, enjoyed, and offered back to the Lord as worship. I've heard people say that before. But for the first time, I think I am actually beginning to understand what it means.

We must keep our hold on the things He gives us light - for the greater joy that comes with not clenching gifts out of fear of losing them. I have had this image in grained in my head for a while now. Just as the Lord fills our palms with His gifts. We receive, but with the understanding that what has been given is out of His goodness - in His timing and for His glory. Recognizing His Kingship and authority in these gifts actually enables us to enjoy them in a richer, deeper and fuller way.

Why am I writing this? Because I've consistently been eager to control and figure out pretty much everything- particularly as it relates to men and life choices. That's begun to change recently. And it actually has very little to do with anything I've "done" per se. But over the course of the past couple of months, I've begun to first accept that I am human- with needs and desires. That's ok. God made me this way. But He also provides for those needs to be met. How? For me, my need for affirmation and feeling lovely is met in long walks through town, wearing a long, flowy skirt, beautiful sunsets. They always made me feel loved, but recognizing that those things are explicitly meeting those needs- and that comes from the Lord - means that I become radically less urgent to find satisfaction in another person. So first, ask yourself, what are your emotional and spiritual needs? Then take a look at when you feel the most loved and appreciated when you're alone. What makes you feel alive? Have you considered that the very thing that gives you joy actually meets your need to feel loved?

So when my heart cries, "You can have all this world, but give me Jesus," my heart is begging that I finally realize that it is in Christ that I consistently find life, joy, and strength. And it is in that recognition that I find increased joy in what it is I've been given- because it's Him loving me, because He sees me as precious, loved and worthy.

May we praise His name as we move through this Holy Week. "Hallelujah! Glory be to our great God!"

~ACW

What's Your Calling?

2011-04-12T11:19:00.002-05:00

I was approached recently to write a blog post for a community - whatsyourcalling.org. I love how these requests seem to come at such opportune times- circumstances when I'm actually considering the question they are asking me to answer/reflect on in the post.

The world "Calling" seems so big sometimes, doesn't it? It sends us down a winding path of self exploration, discussions about "passion", and it might even be a word that we avoid - because their is fear in the fact that we don't know what it is. I know I've been in seasons of my life where that question seemed so big- and I was SO aware of my inadequacy or distance from the answer. But as I've progressed through my short life, there are two things that I've realized. First, the "calling" is as much about the "Caller" as it is about the one receiving and executing the Call. And second, there are two different types of "callings". One is seasonal, the other is life-long.

Sometimes, when I don't have a grasp on what it is my life's purpose might be- or if I feel as if I'm not fulfilling that purpose- it might be worth taking a look at who God is as a means of discovering what's next. Allow me to explain. Looking at the character of God tells us a lot about how He wants His people to live. He's a God who calls us to "do justly, love mercy and walk humbly". He asks us to serve orphans and widows. He commands us to love our neighbors as we would love ourselves. He asks us to worship Him with our lives. When my purpose seems fuzzy- going back to this God clears up the fog a little.

If I do justly, love mercy and walk humbly- I'm looking for opportunities to learn more about injustice, taking action to advocate for justice and pursue a life that is absolutely not about me being in the limelight. I'm serving, I'm asking "who has God put in front of me to love today?" If I know who He is - then other elements of the question become clearer.

Since I can remember, I've always hated the question "What's your 5-year plan?". To me, that question, though well-intentioned, cheapens the reality of life- that it changes and shapes us to be very different people. My calling during this particular season of my life will possibly look radically different in a matter of a year. But my life calling- to serve God as His daughter - is one that remains constant only because God is constant. And the incredible piece of this is that the seasonal calling is always linked to the life calling. Regardless of what I'm doing- I am always called to be His daughter and love others on His behalf. The seasonal "callings" come and go with life - and that process can be so challenging, but as a Christian, you are never without purpose and identity- which gives us the safety to explore what it is we want to be doing in this life season.

Calling Dream Kit :
You can follow the blog tour on the What’s Your Calling? Facebook Page (http://www.facebook.com/whatsyourcalling). Subscribe (http://www.whatsyourcalling.org/receive-email-updates) for a chance to win a Calling Dream Kit including $200 in Amazon.com gift credit to buy supplies you’ll need as you pursue your calling, a DVD and poster of The Calling, and an hour of coaching to help plan your project and the chance to share your calling with the community at http://whatsyourcalling.org.

What’s Your Calling:
What's Your Calling? explores notions of "calling" from both religious and secular perspectives, or what people feel most passionate about doing with their lives – and why.

Victoria's Secret and on to Limited

2011-03-28T14:49:00.004-05:00

Friends,

It has been over a week since I first wrote to Victoria's Secret about an email they sent that caught my attention. For a re-cap be sure to check out the post. Anyway, I have an update that I hope continues to encourage all of you out there who are thinking about using your voice, but are worried about whether or not you can actually make a difference.

As I had let you know, I proposed that Victoria's Secret issue a statement to their e-blast database acknowledging that they realized that one of their emails may have sent the wrong message. I drafted copy for them as an example of how they could write this email without calling unnecessary attention or sending a negative message. I asked my contact there to follow up with me upon presenting that as an option.

I received her call on Thursday, letting me know that the marketing team had decided not to go forward with an apology. I asked her if she could provide me with specific reasons- or put me in touch with a person who would have more insight into the decision. The reason being that this is not simply a "complaint" for me- it's a call to action for brands that have the clout of Victoria's Secret- and others, for that matter, to be careful about the way they communicate to their customers. My contact, who, after hearing my line of reasoning said she was in full support, said she would do her best to have someone call me. She told me to not expect it for a few days, but that she would connect me with the right person.

This afternoon, I got a call from someone at Limited - the parent company of Victoria's Secret. I have to say that I have been incredibly impressed with this company's follow through. Again, the individual informed me that they had decided to not go through with the apology. But, again, I took the time to explain WHY this is so important to me. I think again of the women and men who suffer from serious eating disorders, and the countless more who deal with serious body image issues. I did it quickly, but clearly. And, to my delight, the individual told me that she would return to the team and ask them to think again about sending the message that Victoria's Secret is about celebrating curves- and they are willing acknowledge when they miss the target.

So, stay tuned. I told this new contact that I was grateful for the time and looked forward to the follow up when it comes.

I'm writing this both to update and to begin to prepare you for what might come next. As I preach often, though change can start with one voice, it takes more than one to carry it out. More to come, but for now, if you feel so inclined, pass this along to those you feel might benefit from being a part of this journey.

Cheers,

ACW

Being Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

2011-03-22T18:36:00.005-05:00

Time for another lunch break post. As a brief follow up from my previous post, Victoria's Secret actually responded to me beyond the canned response. Surprised? I was. Someone actually called me. She first thanked me for my calm and collected way of bringing this issue to their attention. She then let me know that the VP of Marketing over there went to their marketing team and brought this to their attention. I was impressed. I've since asked them to write a public apology- they'll be getting follow up from me on that soon (smile), but I hope this encourages you to actually act on your convictions when their violated. Is there a chance you won't be heard? Sure. But since when did change-makers and world leaders emerge from that fear? I mean as the most classic example, what if Martin Luther King Jr. stayed silent? I digress...

So the real reason for my post today actually has to do with something that I've been learning recently. It starts with a verse in Proverbs 15, "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." I glance over that verse a lot, but I've begun to learn a little bit about the importance and impact of adhering to what it says.

There is value in accepting moments of discomfort or unrest and allowing yourself to just be - even if you're not sure what's going on. Let me explain. My typical reaction when I feel fear, anxiety, or anger is to react rather than to examine. I've noticed also that consistently this results in follow up apologies, more thoughts to analyze, and potentially even broken relationships. I wonder what would happen if when we were uncomfortable, we just stopped, breathed, and examined what was going on. What if we asked questions like, "What am I feeling right now?", "What do I know is true about this situation?", "How could this have been less violating or hurtful in my mind?".

Whether it's at work, at home, at church- where ever it is, taking a moment to gather yourself and understand what's going on before acting really gives us the opportunity to think of what we actually want to accomplish in calling out the hurt, the frustration.

It's funny, but the Victoria's Secret example actually ties in here. It would have been easy for me to write a scathing email to customer service, promising to never go within 100 miles of a store ever again- but that wasn't actually meeting the need that I had. The need was to express my concern about a marketing approach that both hurt me and had hurt others. What's the best way to express concern? Calmly. :) I am, by no means, good at this consistently- I've just seen the radical difference in how I think/feel when I actually take the time to pause and reflect before I move.

After all, it's not about not being comfortable- it's about having our personal needs met and protected. And thus, it's not that being uncomfortable is bad, but in fact it's an opportunity for us to learn a bit more about how we react/respond to things. If we heard that, maybe there would be less apology emails and texts sent.

Anyway- some food for thought on this World Water Day.

Cheers,

ACW

Victoria's Secret is Beach Ready- Am I?

2011-03-18T11:28:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, I received one of Victoria Secret's weekly e-blasts. I usually just delete the emails unless they announce some special sale or something of that nature, but this week, the subject heading caught my attention.

"Victoria Secret is Beach Ready, Are You?"

Women, what does that do to you? If you're like me, a certain kind of analyzing begins. It's quick and barely noticeable, but it's real and it's condemning. Gmail doesn't automatically load the images from the e-blast, so I first load the email to see what exactly they're talking about. Within in a moment of loading, my assumption is confirmed as my eyes go to the image in the email- a wonderfully thin lady in a cute bikini. Her skin practically glistens and she sports a jeweled belt that perfectly falls across her midriff. Let me be clear, it's not the picture of this woman that's the problem. I know that my size 8 curves look different than hers - she has entirely different physical makeup. But that question "Are you?" rings a bit louder as I - somewhat defeated- answer "Nope. And I'm pretty sure I won't be."

It takes a few minutes to readjust back to what I was doing, but throughout the day, I'm increasingly aware of those "imperfections" that I know all too well.

I've been blessed to have women in my life that are committed to speaking truth. They've equipped me with the tools to renounce the condemnation and walk in the reality that God has made me beautiful. And no, it's not one of those "beautiful on the inside" comments, though I embrace that as well. I am talking about my curves, my hair, my eyes, my nose, my skin, my body is beautiful- if for no other reason but that I have been called lovely by the Lover of my soul.

But, the truth is, many- like 8 million men and women in America- do not have the tools or do not know how to effectively use the tools. 8 million- that's how many people are battling diseases like anorexia and bulimia. 20% of those people - that's 1.6 million daughters, sisters, brothers, friends -will die because of complications associated with their disease. 1.6 million is hard for me to conceptualize in my head, so I go to the next statistic that every 1 in 200 women in America are dealing with anorexia. Every 2-3 in 200 women are dealing with bulimia.

Still hard to conceptualize? How about the fact that every 4 out of 5 women are dissatisfied with the way they look.

So what's the point of all of this? Should I curse Victoria's Secret for putting pretty women in their advertisements? No- it's marketing - and while it may be exploitative (which is a whole different issue), I can't fault them for wanting to do what they think is best for the brand. Here's what their customer service wrote as a response to an email I sent:

"Victoria’s Secret is a brand that celebrates women’s curves. One way we do that is through our models who are physically fit women who we believe portray our image of sexy, sophisticated and forever young."

But- when a brand calls into question the beauty of its customers, I believe it crosses a line, sending millions of women into a self-analytical thought process that can honestly ruin your day and your confidence. So here's what I wrote in response to their response:

I want to be really clear that I am not talking about the fact that there was a thin girl in the ad. I get marketing (the company I work for is one of the better marketing brands in the country), but what I was focusing on was the copy- the words in the subject heading of the email that read "Victoria's Secret's beach ready- are you?"

I know that canned responses are easy here, but please take a minute and read what I wrote:

"I understand that you probably have an incredibly talented copy writer who sits in your creative department - do you think that he/she could take the time to construct a less condemning subject heading? How about "Victoria Secret's Ready for Some Fun in the Sun. Are you?" Something that doesn't call attention to the fact that the reader may not be as slender as the girl in the photo- or create the illusion that she has to be.

In an age where over 8 million Americans suffer from an eating disorder, every 1 in 200 American women suffer from anorexia, every 2-3 in 200 American women suffer from bulimia- and 20% (1.6 million people) of those men and women will die because of these disease- can you really afford to ride that line?"

I'd appreciate if you'd answer that concern- which is that words, for women, cut deeper than images. I can look at thin woman and recognize that my size 8 hips don't look like hers. And I'm fine with that. But when a brand asks me to ponder whether or not I am "ready" to wear a bikini, it sends me down a path of second guessing my own curves, my own beauty, my own worth. And I know I'm not unique in this.

Again, the copy is the concern- not the size of the model. Would you please pass THIS message on to the leaders of your marketing team?

Thank you,

Amy

March 4th

2011-03-04T12:33:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, during my lunch break, I took some time to read some of my favorite blogs and it reminded me that I've been neglecting mine for a while. I mean- the last time I wrote in this thing was over 1 month ago. That's practically unheard of in the "smart blogger" space. It is not because I haven't had stuff to write about- in fact I probably could have written 1 blog post per week, if I wanted to. But, I feel like this has been a real time of standing back and watching- looking, listening, learning about all that is happening in my life.

I'm not sure if it happened while I was cleaning out my closet in an effort to "de-college" my wardrobe or if it's been a progression of events, but I've noticed on several occasions that I've become keenly aware of how grown up my world has become. My good friend just had his first little girl, age is not a determinant of friendship, I'm thinking about traveling to far away places- and saving the money to do so.

When you're in school mode- everything is possible, or at least could be. You dream of the job you'll have next, the place you'll live, the life you'll lead. But once you enter into that next step, the conversation shifts a bit. You're no longer in the "what's next phase" - or, if you are, it's specific to an area of your life. The whole thing isn't a question mark. And the parts of life that are slowly become less loud and scary.

I hesitate to write about this next part for fear of sounding like EVERY OTHER Christian girl on the face of the earth, but I'll trust the reader's trust in me here. As I've immersed myself in the life I'm living, the urgency of marriage, family and even a relationship in general has faded significantly. In college- and in the midwest (sorry guys) - marriage is always the next step. I remember feeling strange that I hadn't met that match yet. I used to think, "I'm 23! I'm old!" and I dreaded the prospect of being over 30 and unmarried. But here's the thing. It's not that big of a deal. Really. In fact, I'm finally understanding what my mom was talking about when she advised that I live on my own and work for a few years before getting serious about dating. It wasn't her effort to prolong my childhood, but she really did understand that for the type of woman I am, it is in my best interest - and the interest of that gentleman who may or may not be a reality - that I know who I am before even contemplating marrying someone.

I know that lots of girls get married right out of school had have amazing marriages- and it's a gift, but I'm not one of those girls. And my life is really great. I have a great church, a fun job, the opportunity to travel around, explore my interests, and invest time in figuring who this woman named Amy really is.

I don't know- maybe this can be an encouragement to the older about-to-graduate college girls who are single without any real prospects. I had a revelation (not profound, but obvious) that I actually know women who didn't get married until after 30. They're really really happy. They had a beautiful bridal glow on their wedding day and their relationships are lovely, fun and strong. It was in His time- they waited (sometimes reluctantly), they were open, and it happened.

It's been a really neat surprise that I'm not miserably single as I expected to be. It turns out that joy and happiness is found in Life- by living it well and fully with recognition of who and whose you are.

It's March 4th. My name is Amy. And life is beautiful.

Going Deeper

2011-02-01T01:24:00.002-05:00

I was at the grocery store today grabbing an energy drink before I went to the next appointment in my calendar. I pulled the beverage out of the fridge by the checkout counter and headed to a open cashier to pay as a guy with peanut butter- a grocery store employee- scurried in front of me. I stepped behind him, waiting my turn as another man with a birthday cake and candles of the number "2" and "5" came up behind me. As he arranged the candles to read "25", I made mention of how that had happened to me just a week before. We exchanged pleasantries and my attention turned back to my friend with the peanut butter. He asked the cashier "did it cover it?" She said, "No, you still owe me 4 dollars and 56 cents." He opened his wallet to reveal a crumpled up $10 bill. I watched as he painfully made the decision to hand it over and pay the difference. Clearly the $10 was reserved for something.

He moved aside as I paid for my red bull with one of the 20s in my wallet and I went on my way. The interaction struck me- and a bit hard. Earlier today I had told someone how cool I thought it was that we lived in a country where an "economic crisis" has little to no effect on its people. He rightly corrected me- I was among a group of the "lucky ones". It was a passing comment- but he was right. Poverty is in Santa Monica, California. Poverty is in Fairfield, Connecticut. You don't have to look that far. So what do we do?

I wrestled with this question as I drove off. And though I don't necessarily have the complete answer to the question, I have some of it.

First- spend money in a way that automatically impacts others. Serendipitously, today, my friend, Josh Tetrick, launched 33needs - a crowdsourcing social venture funding platform. He's got a group of companies on there committed to impacting the world for good- and we can be a part of their story. Not through donations, but through investing our money. Interesting, huh?

Second- keep your eyes open and tell the story of those you see. Dialogue keeps us aware and alert and thus, more equipped to make wise decisions when the opportunity for action arises.

Third- get involved, please. Help at a local soup kitchen, volunteer for a pet adoption event, go to a town meeting when funding decisions are being made that affect the poor. Just be present, be engaged.

And finally- pray. Pray for the people you see on the streets. Learn their names, their stories. Be active in that. It's your call. It's my call.

We were not made to walk through this life with our eyes and hearts closed. So would you open yours?

Appalachia: The Hidden Third World of the United States

2010-12-04T00:57:00.000-05:00

My eyes have opened again. Over these past two years, I've learned so much about the social development space. I've been introduced to issues like human trafficking, environmental abuse, and podoconiosis. My world has gotten bigger. I've had the chance to travel and see parts of the world where poverty is the norm- not the exception. It's been life changing. But recently, through a series of conversations, my own country has gotten bigger. Appalachia. A multi-billion dollar coal industry lives there. It is also the home of 1/3 of the poorest counties in the U.S. Over 50% of the adult population do not have high school diplomas, families live on less than $10,000 annually.

I've ignored it for too long. So, for the next month, I'm going to write about organizations that do work in Appalachia. And once again I'm turning to my readers. What organizations should I write about and highlight that are specifically working to bring sustainable solutions to this area of our country?

Looking forward to learning with you.

Cheers,

ACW

And the Winner is...

2010-11-30T03:00:00.000-05:00

Congratulations to Preemptive Love Coalition for winning with grand total of 84 votes!

Be sure to check them out on their website.

"Like" them on facebook.

Follow them on twitter.

And congratulate them for serving a wonderfully unique population (kids with a serious heart disease in Iraq) and seeking to bring peace in the process. Go ahead- leave a comment!

Thank you to all who voted- my hope above all is that through this, you'll take some time to think this holiday season about ways that you can creatively use your resources to make a difference.

I'll conclude with one of my favorite quotes from Albert Einstein.

"Find out what the world needs. Then proceed to invent." Thank you @joshtetrick for constantly reminding me of that.

Cheers,

ACW

Do Not Grow Weary of Doing Good : Contest Update

2010-11-27T08:14:00.001-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving to all! It's really a blessing to be back home with my family this season as Christmas begins to enter our lives again. We decorated our trees (yes, plural- both parents collect ornaments of different varieties) yesterday. I'll probably write about that in the very near future.

Just a quick update as this contest grows to an end next week (I announce the winner on Wednesday).

Preemptive Love Coalition- 37 votes (One comment counted at +4 due to an administrative mistake on my end)

Kids Against Hunger- 34 Votes

Relationship Bridges International- 11 Votes

World Neighbors- 10 Votes

Compassion Over Killing- 8 Votes

Epic Change- 2 Votes

Citizen Effect- 2 Votes

Feeding America- 1 Vote

Remember, everyone has until 12:00AM PST, December 1 to cast their vote towards an organization they believe in. And if your organization wins, they will get the $ I've been saving from not eating out.

And I'll sign off with a line that @dentmaker continues to encourage with-

Do not grow weary of doing good,

ACW

The Final Entry! Compassion Over Killing

2010-11-24T02:29:00.000-05:00

Well, I can't believe it- but we're here at the final contest entry thanks to my friend and fellow world changer, Josh Tetrick. It would be the understatement of the century to say that Josh loves animals. He went from a meat consuming football player to a vegan social entrepreneur once he started to learn more about the meat industry in the U.S. He's nominated Compassion Over Killing- a advocacy organization based in D.C.

Here's a bit about the organization:

COK is a nonprofit animal advocacy organization based in Washington, D.C. Working to end animal abuse since 1995, COK focuses on cruelty to animals in agriculture and promotes vegetarian eating as a way to build a kinder world for all of us, both human and nonhuman.

They serve animals through advocacy campaigns, offering resources like books to read, vegan recipes, and events you can participate in. If your heart is tugged for our furry and feathered friends, then this is your group.

So what do you think folks? Should COK win the cash? Remember to comment here! One comment = one vote! Voting ends on December 1.

Cheers,

ACW

Tweetsgiving and Gratichats!

2010-11-24T02:19:00.000-05:00

I'm just sitting down after a wonderful get together I had this evening celebrating our connection to other countries around the globe- after all Tweetsgiving and Epic Thanks is global in its nature.. My friends brought dishes or beverages from other parts of the world and created a little hand-written note as to why that country has captured their heart. We hung each note on a garland- which will now serve as my Christmas decor for the year. Here's a picture of the masterpiece!

It was great to hear about some of the stories of why people chose the countries they did. We had Mexico, Egypt, Italy, Kenya, Ethiopia, New Zealand, Australia, Bosnia, Canada, Lebanon, Thailand and the good ol' USA represented tonight. It was really great. And the food was awesome! The wine was too, of course.

Tomorrow night, a couple of hours after I arrive in Connecticut, I'll have the opportunity to talk with some changemakers I've come to know (get ready for the hyperlinks party!). Ian Elliott- a cause marketing mastermind with SEW Creative, Ian Scott Haisley- the guy responsible for teaching me about twitter (and the online marketing guru for Opportunity International), Keith Kall- Executive Director of Corporate Development for World Vision and Lee Fox- founder of KooDooz. Be sure to tune in to the #EpicThanks chat at around 10PM EST. I'll be tweeting from @Gratichat!

Cheers,

ACW

Epic Change, Epic Thanks- Suggestion 7

2010-11-23T12:03:00.000-05:00

I have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving- as I'm sure you all do. I could think of at least 15 things right off the top of my head.

Tonight, and for the next three days, I'm going to be celebrating Tweetsgiving- a global event that was started by Epic Change- an organization that "amplifies the voices and impact of grassroots changemakers by sharing their stories in ways that raise visibility and funds to support their extraordinary efforts to create hope in our world". They've given voices to individuals and their efforts all over the world. And this Tweetsgiving- a concept they started two years ago- they are inviting all of us to be a part of Epic Thanks- a campaign that recognizes global gratitude for those who have chosen to live their lives as change makers in this world.

This group is one of the most effective in rallying those on social media and getting folks to actually either contribute or participate in raising awareness. Throughout the week, they'll be hosting "Gratichats" (tweeted from @Gratichat)- interviews on Twitter with change makers about their work. I'm excited for the chance to both be interviewed and interview some amazing people!

One of my favorite campaigns of theirs: To Mama With Love- a campaign that raised over $15,000 for a children's home in Tanzania.

So here's the deal- money raised from this Tweetsgiving will go towards three "change makers". Here are their bios:

Mama Lucy:

Her village in Arusha, Tanzania did not have many good schools. So, she started a primary school in 2003 with money she raised from a small chicken farm. I began with only 10 students. She now serves more than 411 kids and her school is currently ranked #2 in her district out of 123 schools.

Subhash Ghimire

After being the first in his family to graduate college, Subhash began work to build a school in Nepal to teach children peacemaking for a country that is recovering from years of war.

Mike Halley

Mike is a retired marine who started an organization for veterans returning from war. How does he do it? The goal of the organization is to provide service dogs to disabled veterans of all ages, to help these veterans overcome their invisible disabilities in order to become more productive and functional, and to inform the public of the need for service dogs other than seeing eye dogs.

Thanks to @stevejennings1 for nominating this wonderful organization. And gratitude goes to Stacey Monk for pioneering an amazing movement.

So what do you think folks? Should these guys win the cash?

Cheers,

ACW

Kids Against Hunger- Suggestion Six!

2010-11-23T01:54:00.001-05:00

Phew! We're into week two of this money-saving madness (I ate my "meal out" this week this morning at breakfast with a bunch of folks from my church). So far, we're doing pretty well on the voting- Preemptive Love is ahead with 29 votes, Relationship Bridges International has 11 votes, World Neighbors has 10 and Citizen Effect and Feeding America both have 1. I thought I'd re-cap on the whole contest idea again.

I gave up eating out for a week- saving me $100. I'm only eating 1 meal out for the next 2 weeks- which means $80 each week. So, I'm pledging $260 (and am on the hunt for someone to match me 1-for-1!) to the organization that my readers choose! You suggested a handful to me last week- and I pledged to write a blog on each organization. When you comment on that blog you vote (1 vote per person per day)! Pretty simple right? If you like the organization, vote. Just "commenting" is a way for you to contribute to that organization's efforts. So- start voting!

Thanks to a dear past teacher and friend, I discovered Kids Against Hunger. She suggested it because a team of people in the Connecticut area team together pretty often (I think weekly?) to put together bagged lunches for kids in their community who are dealing with malnutrition. Here's a brief bit about the organization:

The organization’s approach to achieving its goal - the eradication of world hunger - includes the packaging of a highly nutritious, vitamin-fortified soy-rice casserole by volunteers at numerous locations within the USA and Canada, and the distribution of those meals to starving children and their families in over 60 countries through partnerships with humanitarian organizations worldwide. In 2009 alone, volunteers at Kids Against Hunger’s food packaging centers across the USA packaged over 48 million meals for children and their families around the world and around the corner.
The Kids Against Hunger food packaging network consists of the organization’s International Headquarters office located in New Hope, MN (a suburb of Minneapolis), a Division in Mankato, MN, and about 80 independent non-profit food packaging "satellites" across the U.S. and Canada.

Think about it- your family in Whereeveryouareville, Texas can put together food packages for kids all around the world. A very close family friend, Keith and his boys Richard and Mark just participated in an event in Connecticut. I spoke to Jill- the boys' mom- and she mentioned the powerful experience it was for her boys.

And here's something shocking about their financials.

COST OF THE MEALS:

The average program cost to produce each Kids Against Hunger meal is $0.23.

Each bag of food (390 grams) includes six one-cup servings.

Each 32 lb. box of food holds 36 bags of food. That is the equivalent of 216 meals at a program cost of only $50. Each 40 ft. container load of food includes 285,120 meals or 40 pallets of food at a program cost of approx. $65,000.

Kids Against Hunger purchases the ingredients for its meals at very competitive prices through longstanding relationships with reliable suppliers. The necessary funds are raised through donations from individuals, corporations, churches, and other organizations.

$.23. So that means, if these guys win, we would be providing over 1,000 meals for kids who need it. So what do you think folks? Should they win the cash?

Cheers,

ACW

Watching it all Unfold

2010-11-23T01:24:00.000-05:00

Dear Sarah,

I sit here on a chilly Santa Monica evening having just spoken with you a few hours ago. I got home tonight, checked my mail and found your wonderful letter. I read it through and lingered in the memories for a bit and decided that responding to you on this platform was both the response I needed to write and the one I wanted to send. It won't replace the pen, but hopefully the words will seem hand-delivered. I have my tea, just ate a delectable treat...I'm ready.

I believe that as we come to this January, we celebrate our 5th year of friendship. That's a bit of a milestone, I would say. Considering all of the circumstances we've experienced together and the lessons we've taught each other- I find myself in the kind of place of nostalgia. I think about the countless walks we took to the Indiana Avenue Starbucks, the number of Jimmy Johns sandwiches we consumed, the random road trips to Nashville- both Indiana and Tennessee, and the handful of concerts we attended at the Bluebird. I think back to the conversations we have had- the infamous "thunderstorm" conversation that will no doubt make its way into one of your books. There are so many stories woven into those years, Sarah. They are the stories that make me think of our friendship every time I make a cup of tea, listen to Enya, see Family Stone or smell the first taste of autumn. It's rare that a friend has such an intricate hand in forming someone. We all plant seeds in others' lives, yes, but it's not often that one actually shares the rhythm of life.

It's fascinating to think about the different paths everyone took for this "stage after college", isn't it? Paul wound up in New Jersey, A.J. is doing grad school, Ben and Andrew both married amazing women- Andrew's soon to be a Dad. Leslie's married for over 2 years and living in Indianapolis. Sadie, Austin, and Maeve are living and working in Chicago. Amy's living in Nashville tearing up the music scene. Jill's up in Noblesville. Scott lives in Portland. Darrell's married and living in Bloomington. Kelly finished her Master's and is working in Indianapolis. You married your childhood crush and are almost done with your Master's. And here I am in California, rediscovering what it means to find home where ever God leads you.

We have no promise of tomorrow, but it is also pretty shocking to think that this is honestly just the beginning. Something tells me that it may always feel that way. We'll always have the opportunity to sit down at a coffee shop, hands wrapped around the cup holding the drink of choice, us reflecting on the life that has passed, the place we are currently and the life to come.

I guess what I am trying to say, in too many words, is that I am so grateful that God loves me enough to provide me with people who have been around for a while. He has new relationships on the near horizon, of course, but those He provided to walk through those significant growing years have shaped me. If you were here, I'd raise my tea mug to you and offer some witty toast that would make us both laugh. We have seen much together, dear friend. And I look forward to the life ahead- as I am sure there is much more to see.

For the friend that you are, the trust you've both given and received, and the love that you continue to show me- I am forever grateful.

Until the next moment we share,

Amy

Citizen Effect: Suggestion Five

2010-11-22T01:21:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I've had the opportunity to write about Citizen Effect quite a bit. (You can find a blog I wrote on them a while back- just over a year ago- here.) I love them, love their people and love how they enable folks like you and me (with somewhat limited bank accounts) to be involved in awesome world changing work.

This year, they have a holiday campaign called the Holiday Harvest, where they've selected four communities in India, Peru, Louisiana, and South Africa where folks like you and me can help to provide food for families during the holidays. But it's not your average feeding program (those are great too!). Citizen Effect partners with organizations like SEWA, Coprodelli, Home from Home, and Catholic Charities to execute projects like emergency food provision, agricultural training, support for a malnutrition program, and the establishment of a foster home in South Africa.

As always, Citizen Effect goes above and beyond in their creative (and impactful) holiday campaigns.

So what do you think folks? Should Citizen Effect get the money? (NOTE: The donation will go towards Citizen Effect's operational costs- you gotta pay people well to do the job well!)

Cheers,

ACW

Feeding America: Suggestion Four

2010-11-20T12:56:00.002-05:00

Due to a late night last night, suggestion four had to wait until this morning. Thanks to @buttercupd for the suggestion. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, where most of us spend a lot of time with a lot of food and a lot of family, let's talk about an organization which has a name that defines its focus- Feeding America.

From their website:

Feeding America is the nation's leading domestic hunger-relief charity. Our mission is to feed America's hungry through a nationwide network of member food banks and engage our country in the fight to end hunger.
Each year, the Feeding America network provides food to more than 37 million low-income people facing hunger in the United States, including 14 million children and nearly 3 million seniors.
Our network of more than 200 food banks serves all 50 states, the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico, securing and distributing more than 2.5 billion pounds of food and grocery products annually. Those member food banks support approximately 61,000 local charitable agencies and 70,000 programs, which provide food directly to individuals and families in need.
Learn more about your local Feeding America network member food bank.

Did you know that 1 in 6 Americans deal with hunger? I mean, that's a number that is seriously hard for me to think about. We live in a culture where the financially secure and wealthy are the "faces of America". The poor in this country are so well hidden that we often forget poverty exists here. Poverty is a way of life in countries like Ethiopia, Colombia and Mexico- the rich are the exception to the rule. But here, real poverty- the kind where children not sure whether or not they will get their next meal- that's not something we recognize every day.

And your money seems to go far with Feeding America- every $1 = 7 meals. That's pretty significant, don't you think- considering that $1 barely buys me an iced tea these days.

So what do you think? Should the money from me not eating out go to Feeding America? Remember 1 comment = 1 vote. And please leave your name, initials or twitter handle when you sign.

Cheers,

ACW

World Neighbors: Suggestion Three

2010-11-19T02:01:00.002-05:00

Here we are- we're four days into this no eating out business and I have to say it's kind of amazing knowing that 20 dollars is staying in my pocket each day as I snack on my homemade lunch and beverages. I've been sticking to my from-home chai tea each morning and making sure I pack quality snacks for me to reach for throughout the day. With the exception of a coke and a bottle of water ($2- I had a bad stomach thing on Wednesday), I've purchased nothing circumstantial!

And I've been pretty impressed with the response we've been getting- considering that this is such a grass roots effort. I wanted to bring up one more thing - each individual can only vote 1x per day- forgive me for not clarifying. So please, when you vote, just leave your initials, your name, or your twitter handle. One vote per person each day, please!

On to suggestion three! (Thanks Rich!) World Neighbors- Inspiring People. Strengthening Communities. Another one I'd not heard of before this all started! So, what's this organization all about? Here's a bit from their website:

World Neighbors is an international development organization striving to eliminate hunger, poverty and disease in the poorest, most isolated rural villages in Asia, Africa and Latin America. World Neighbors invests in people and their communities by training and inspiring them to create their own life-changing solutions through programs in agriculture, literacy, water, health and environmental protection. Since 1951, more than 25 million people in 45 countries have transformed their lives with the support of World Neighbors.

With over 50 staff located around the world, the organization works with the community and their leaders to develop solutions to the pressing issues- specifically hunger, poverty, disease and environment. The numbers are pretty amazing too- 500,000 people in 13 countries around the world benefit from the 70 programs. They've been around for a while too- almost 60 years, providing education and support to over 25 million people. But in all the numbers one thing is consistent- they don't give away material goods. From their experience, working with the leaders to create ownership of solutions has been the most effective.

To offer an example of how their staff works- in order to address the issue of hunger, World Neighbors offers support and education in sustainable farming. They provide support for savings and credit, seed and grain storage banks, processing and marketing of products, and income generation through small enterprises. All of these programs have a rich education component- training the community to do what it wants to do- create better lives for themselves and their families.

World Neighbors has a network program called Work of Women or WOW, a network much like Opportunity International's WON, where women can come together and work on behalf of other women in the world through fundraising, education and awareness. WOW! provides ample ways to get involved too- like their Walk for Women and offering ideas on how to throw a party for a cause.

Got to say- impressed by what I've seen. It's been around for a while- doing work in 4 key areas (love the environmental piece!) and recognizes the importance of women in dealing with the effects of abject poverty.

So what do you think? Should they get the money? Remember, every comment = 1 vote!

Cheers,

ACW

Relationship Bridges International: Suggestion Two

2010-11-18T02:38:00.001-05:00

I've known Father Mark Browne for as long as I've been alive. His son, John-Mark is my oldest and dearest friend. Mark has a heart for the young children and adults of Russia. Since I can remember, he has been taking groups of people from around the U.S. and the world over to Russia during the summer to run camps for kids- some of the poorest in the country. Since he began his work over 16 years ago, Mark has led well over 35 trips to Russia. His long term commitment to the children and their community is a model we all can and should learn from.

His organization, Relationship Bridges International, serves as the organization behind these trips. This coming summer, the camp will host over 100 orphans and 700 impoverished kids. If they win, the money will go to invest in the future and well being over 800 kids. Pretty awesome, huh? They are passionate about the Lord and sharing that hope with these kids through relationships.

Mark and his team work collaboratively with churches around the United States and with a team in Russia to ensure the long term investment in these kids- beyond just summer camp. The team is involved in all kinds of programs from education to feeding to providing clothing and resources for these kids.

Mark is also the pastor at Christ's Church in Virgina. So, what do you think? Remember- every comment = one vote!

Preemptive Love Coalition: Suggestion One

2010-11-17T01:50:00.002-05:00

As a part of this week without eating out, I've asked a bunch of you to post suggestions for the recipient of the money that I'm saving from not eating out. First, for those of you who have suggested recipients, thank you! I'll be taking suggestions through the end of this week.

Here's an added bonus- I will also write a profile post for each organization that is suggested. It's important for all of us to learn about the organizations (and people!) doing amazing work in the world. If you think this should be the organization that gets the funds, then comment on the blog! Each comment will be considered a vote! And voting ends on December 1st at 12PM PST!

I love that the first one suggested by @dentmaker (great twitter handle by the way) is one that I've never heard of before- the Preemptive Love Coalition.

Simply, the organization provides heart surgery to children in Iraq. But after spending a few minutes with their website, there's much more to it than an operation. According to their site, congenital heart disease is highly prevalent in Iraq. Some cite Saddam Hussein's chemical attacks on the northern part of Iraq (known as Kurdish, Iraq) while others attribute this to poverty, intra-family marriages and other cultural reasons. PLC recognizes that addressing this issue requires extensive knowledge of the social environment and an attitude of support and service.

So how does PLC do it? First, the organization partners with Johns Hopkins Anadolu Medical Center in Istanbul, Turkey to actually offer the surgeries to the children. Having that resource allows for the children to access some of the best medical care in the world. Second, PLC staff goes deep into the community, forming relationships with families and community leaders to guide the family through the process. Depending on the severity of the case, PLC staff will build a relationship with the family for up to a year, guiding them in the preparation for this surgery- emotionally, financially and physically. And after the surgery, they require that the family enrolls in a 6-month recovery program. They also don't just hand out medical care for free. Apparently, based on a matrix they've put together (PLC- would love to see it!), they help the family financially plan for the surgery. Sustainability's sweet.

And finally, aside from receiving donations, PLC sells some unique looking shoes and t-shirts (I'm a fan of the green "preemptive love" tee).

Looks like they're on to a good start with a solid board and intentional messaging. Cool recommendation. What do you guys think? Remember, each comment is considered a "vote" for this organization!

Cheers!

Amy

A Week Without Eating Out

2010-11-15T22:38:00.003-05:00

So it hit me last week as I was going for lunch at the cafe around the corner from my office that I was eating out every single day. Seriously. I would show up to work, buy a latte and a bowl of fruit then I'd come back for lunch. And then, depending on how the day was going, I'd go back for a cup of coffee. So let's do some math.

Latte + Fruit = $7
Lunch + drink = $9
Coffee + snack = $4
Daily food costs not including dinner: $20

That's $100/week on food. So I'm giving it up for a week. Cold turkey. I decided to do it about half way through this morning when I grabbed a granola bar for breakfast and packed my lunch. I spent $1 on a cookie today, but I'm cutting out all purchase of "circumstantial food" for one week completely. After the week is up, I'm going to give myself an "allowance" of 1 meal for the next week. The ultimate goal is to save a good chunk of money over the next four weeks.

The Fun Part
And since today is National Philanthropy Day, Citizen Effect was asking what we were doing to celebrate, and I'm all for doing fun things to help others, I'm pledging to give 1/2 of what I save to a charity of my readership's choice. Submit your suggestions as a comment response to this blog. Tell me in 2 sentences why I should give to your organization and what you're doing to change the planet.

Here's an added bonus- I will also write a profile post for each organization that is suggested. It's important for all of us to learn about the organizations (and people!) doing amazing work in the world. If you think this should be the organization that gets the funds, then comment on the blog! Each comment will be considered a vote! And voting ends on December 1st at 12PM PST!

Bottom line is that I've gotten lazy with being a good steward of my finances. There's no excuse for it. So I'm ending it.

Alright- it's up to you! Where's the money going?

~Amy

P.S. Thanks to Mrs. Elizabeth Plant for the link to this blog "Not Eating Out in NY"

The Devil is Preaching the Song of the Redeemed

2010-11-07T01:46:00.003-05:00

The band, Shane and Shane, is one of my favorite bands. Their lyrics pierce your heart. One song, "Embracing Accusations", is a must listen for anyone who does not hear the "Your sins are forgiven" part of "Your sins are forgiven, now go and leave your life of sin", as spoken to the women caught in adultery in John 8.

The lyrics:

The father of lies, coming to steal kill and destroy
All my hopes of being good enough.
I hear him saying, “cursed are the ones who can’t abide.”

He’s right, hallelujah, he’s right.

The devil is preaching the song of the redeemed,
That I am cursed and gone astray.
I cannot gain salvation
Embracing accusation.

Could the father of lies be telling the truth of
God to me tonight?
That if the penalty of sin is death, then death is mine.
I hear him saying, “cursed are the ones who can’t abide.”

He’s right, hallelujah, he’s right.

The devil is preaching the song of the redeemed,
That I am cursed and gone astray.
I cannot gain salvation
Embracing accusation.

The devil’s singing over me an age old song
That I am cursed and gone astray.
Singing the first verse so conveniently over me,
He’s forgotten the refrain...
Jesus saves!

Take the time to listen to the song. We cannot gain salvation- praise God. Because even though we cannot gain, Christ has come and offered salvation- and we can receive. And for those of us who have chosen to receive- what freedom!

We are Asking the Wrong Question

2010-10-26T08:31:00.001-05:00

The following is a reflection based on my last trip to Ethiopia. I've really enjoyed writing letters to the people who are dear to my heart, so hence the format. Enjoy.

Dear Sadie,

I am up very early thanks to a good case of jet lag and thought I'd take the time to write you about my most recent trip to Ethiopia. It is a bit surreal to think that less than a year ago, I was dreaming of exploring new worlds and seeing new cultures. And here I am, learning more about people than I ever thought I would.

I was riding in a taxi cab with a new found Ethiopian friend last week in Addis, looking around and observing the stark difference of the urban rich and urban poor. The contrast seems to be more blatant to me. As I was observing, I thought back to the women and children I had just visited in the country side who would consider the urban poor of Addis beyond wealthy. All of these thoughts began to swirl together and I turned to my friend and said, "I don't understand this sometimes. I don't understand why God would permit for this to happen. And I'm not saying that I have to understand- in fact, I know that I don't, but this is hard to process, you know?" He didn't even miss a beat when he turned to me and gently responded, "Habakkuk asked the same question of God. Why do you let the traitors and evil men live in peace and let the righteous suffer?" His response to me was unexpected. Not necessarily because of what he said- though I'll get to that in a minute- but rather the peace with which he said it. The focus of the discussion shifted from "Why does God" to "we have been asking this question for a long time".

And as I've been thinking about that exchange, I realized a couple of things. First, the world is currently not as it was originally intended to be. We are sinful, separated from God- a fact that has invited all kinds of morose evil and injustice in this world. Secondly, it seems as if there is something within many of us that is not ok with this situation. We are angered by the horrific consequences of human decisions. It causes us to ask the question, "Why, God?" But the sad part, Sadie, is that so many people stop at asking that question. We use it as an excuse to ignore. We see our fist-shaking temper tantrums as a contribution to the solving of the problem. But how wrong we are.

Really- think about this a little deeper. God created us, right? That means He knows what He was doing when He instilled in us a discontent with the effect of sin. He also created minds to think, create, plan. He also created the endorphins that result in risk taking and courage. He created a human race that would have- through His mastery- the ability to address the very issues that anger us. So, I wonder what would happen if we changed the question. What would happen if instead of asking "Why God", we would turn first to ourselves and then to others and ask "Why are you not moving?" God's response to sin and evil is pretty incredible, isn't it? There are 6 billion+ people on this earth. All have the opportunity to contribute in some way to serving each other.

I looked at the Lord's answer to Habakkuk in Habakkuk 2. The righteous shall live by faith. At first glance it looks completely disconnected doesn't it? Here's a man asking God- why are the righteous suffering?? And God replies- the righteous shall live by faith. It is a very serious and difficult concept to swallow here, Sadie. It is one that demands that we take ownership. That answer should beg the questions- what does it mean to live? What does "by faith" imply? Faith is demonstrated in the way we make decisions, isn't it? The righteous have life in their faith- because their faith inspires action that brings love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control.

I've had this conversation before with several people here in the states. The conversation is often quickly ended by an attempt to write off the lack of understanding (and I've even responded this way). But after driving through the poverty-stricken streets of Addis Ababa, I have discovered that the question should not be one directed at God. In fact, the weak and lazy will ask this question and use it as an excuse to live an idle life. But those who truly see the world will ask, "How am I using the skills and abilities I have to make sure that those who are suffering are being heard, provided for and loved?" And if, in asking that question they find that they are not living accordingly, they will change their course and live by faith.

Love,

Amy

Dear Audrey

2010-10-08T15:23:00.001-05:00

Dear Audrey,

I've owed you this letter for quite some time, so thank you for the grace and patience.

Life has been moving at a fairly rapid pace over the past few months. So fast, in fact, that I probably need more times like this to sit and absorb it all. I don't want to be so wrapped up in getting to the next thing that I miss the moments, forget the lessons. And I feel like that's how my relationship with the Lord has been.

If I were to paint an image of it, the picture would be from His perspective, gazing into a room as I hurried to put away clothes on the shelf, make the bed, and decide which outfit to wear. If it were a movie, the scene would transition with me running past him, turning sideways to fit through the door as I grab my phone to text the person I'm meeting. He'd be saying my name quietly and I'd respond back curtly, "I know I hear you, let's go." And I'd proceed to run out the door knowing He wasn't too far behind.

That's where I've been. I've recently moved into a new place that has allowed for me to breathe a little bit. I'm settling in this weekend in hopes of creating a bit of a sanctuary of a home. And as I begin to prepare each room, it takes me back to a story that one of my high school teachers read through for us as a devotional- My Heart Christ's Home- maybe you've heard of it. It depicts a conversation between someone and Christ going through different areas of our lives. It's honest and even shocking at times. And as I go through and prepare my bedroom, my kitchen, the bathroom, the main room, my focus has been bringing peace. And frankly, it has not been until now that I've allowed the still, small, and persistent voice to actually reach my heart.

I know that there has to be a reason that I keep Him distant. And I want to try to dig into that. My heart longs for a quiet place to listen to music about His love and sing some of my own. So what keeps me from that? Why do I rush past Him in these days and moments- knowing full well that being intimate with the Lord brings such life to my own life? What is it about the routine I've established that permits for Him to be a constant background.

I know, as do you I'm sure, that in His salvation and truth we find peace. Practical ways of seeking Him include spending time with other believers, listening to a sermon, writing a prayer in that journal that keeps calling my name, but it also includes holding your little boy close, taking a walk on a beautiful autumn evening, putting a melody to a scripture that has recently touched your heart...the list goes on. He is an ever present part of the things that bring refreshing joy to our hearts.

I am a Christian, Audrey. That isn't something that we simply put on a profile page or file on a tax form. But it's the same a saying I'm in a relationship. I've chosen Christ as the caretaker of my heart. And I desperately want Him to own that job- in spite of my propensity to control. I'm so grateful that I serve and love a God who knows that I'm a tough one to still. And He will fight for my heart.

I love you, dear sister and am grateful to share life with you- even from far away. I pray that we both continue to acknowledge God where He is and make the choice to sing His praise- knowing that that will ignite our hearts and give us joy.

With all my love and admiration,

Amy

Defining Impact

2010-10-06T20:05:00.001-05:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about the word "impact". We use this a lot when talking about international development, about programs, and even when talking about our personal contribution to the world. But I have to wonder where we get the indication/understanding that we are having a positive impact on the world. How do we quantify this- and then how do we qualify the numbers?

But without getting to formulaic- what does it mean to make a positive impact on someone's life? How do you come to the conclusion that your life, your actions, your words have taken someone from point A and moved them to point B or even C or D? How do you define good?

What's the baseline?

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

ACW in Africa

2010-08-23T13:15:00.000-05:00

Folks, for the next two weeks, I will be in Ethiopia for my job with TOMS Shoes. You can find my blogs on the trip and some insights as I learn about development at this site: http://acwinafrica.blogspot.com. Please comment and process this with me as I grow.

Blessings,

Amy

One Step at a Time

2010-07-29T00:58:00.003-05:00

When I was young, I used to sing this song by Psalty the Singing Song Book called "One Step at a Time". In fact, my sister and I would belt it out in the car, much to the joy of my parents. I always hit the harmonies that were slightly out of my 10 year-old reach. The words went like this:

"When something seems too hard to handle, too big to conquer, too far away to touch. When all your dreams begin to shatter and deep inside you, you're hurting oh so much, that's when it's time to say. I'm climbing my mountain, step by step. I'm climbing my mountain day by day. I'm climbing my mountain all the way. I'm climbing my mountain, I'm going to make it one step at a time. One step at a time. One step at a time with Jesus by my side. One step at a time. One step at a time, I'm climbing this mountain one step at a time."

Fast forward 15 years to where I sit today. I don't know about you, but there have been some serious times in my life when I have felt absolutely overwhelmed by my own sin. I've felt trapped by temptation and incredibly broken by my perceived inability to conquer this mountain of imperfection. And recently, I had been (have been) walking through another season like that. And in the midst of it, I cried out that the Lord would show me Life and help me in my ridiculous addiction to the momentary pleasures that this world has to offer.

I've been going to this amazingly wonderful church in Santa Monica called Risen. Each Sunday, we take communion to celebrate and remember the Lord's death and resurrection on our behalf. This week before we began, he spoke of how God forgives us over and over and over again because of the sacrifice of Christ on our behalf. And like Paul talks about in Romans, this is by no means a license for us to sin, but rather a gift that demands a response of authentic obedience. The gift is overwhelming and incomprehensible.

So I took that into the beginning of my week when I met with my newfound friend Leah for breakfast on Tuesday morning. While I was talking with her about this process I've been going through, she reminded me that God has called us to be perfect, yes, but knows even better than we do that attaining that call is a process- sanctification. It takes one step of obedience to lead to the next, to the next, to the next. And if you're like me, that first step out of a sinful habit is most often the most difficult.

Furthermore, I tend to approach my sin as something that has to be purged immediately and in totality-and that that purging is dependent on my own strength. I make these promises that I will never ever go back to X. And then depend on my own will to make sure that happens. When will I learn? It is not I, but Christ who has conquered sin and death. I must call upon His strength given by the power of the Holy Spirit to forsake temptation- to throw off sin. If I am not in the Word, immersed in accountability, and doing things that make me constantly aware of God's character and beauty- I am not able. Period. But the amazing thing is that if I do those things, I will find freedom because of Him.

It really is amazing how dense I can be sometimes. I stop reading the Word and then wonder why things are just so darn difficult to put off or why temptation seems unbearable. It is because I forget who He is. If I were aware of even a fraction of the holiness of God on a daily basis, my life would reflect it.

So my prayer becomes, "Lord, have mercy on this wretch. I receive your grace and ask that your Spirit alive in me would bear fruit of faithfulness and obedience to your law. Give me the strength that I may pursue a knowledge of your holiness in my thoughts, words and deeds-one step at a time."

New Look, New Digs, New Season

2010-07-15T00:13:00.005-05:00

I thought it was about that time for an update. So many new things are in my life that I thought I'd share a bit about what I've been learning through this process. And I wanted to continue in this spirit of "new and change" but giving this blog (which has been around for almost 5 years now) a bit of a face lift.

First, I'm living in Santa Monica. I wanted to document my entire road trip out here, but driving over 2000 miles in 4 days AND taking the time to enjoy the scenery is slightly more draining than even I anticipated. We saw some incredible sites though- from the abandoned train yard in Salina, KS to the Sand Dunes in Colorado, to the mighty Hoover Dam in Nevada...and yes even Peggy Sue's diner right before the California state line. When we finally arrived in Santa Monica and took the walk down to the beach, I couldn't help but be amazed that we had seen all that we had and that this place, where I was experiencing the vastness of the ocean with the Pier lights dancing off in the distance, was now to be my home.

Rather than going on and on about the way the Lord has blessed me over the past three weeks, I thought I'd boil them down to bullet points. I like condensed versions of things these days. :)

The people who helped to set up my room/helped me move in are amazing. (yes, that includes you, Mom and Dad!)
Regeneration LA - cool church in Pasadena that I've been checking out over the past 3 weeks.
The ladies I've met from Hope Church Santa Monica
My job. It's just awesome.
I live within walking distance to everything. It's kind of surreal.
Charity- a beautiful friend of a friend who came to have dinner w/me last week.
My roommate- she's super joyful and happy.
Calls with Sadie, Sarah, Ben and other friends- just encouragements as I get settled.
SKYPE! I've gotten to actually SEE people that I love and miss!
The opportunity to use my music so quickly- I'm playing keys and singing harmony for a girl I met last week.
Knowing that God is guiding this process ever so specifically.

There really is so much more, but that's the gist. Oh, and I'm going to Ethiopia in late August. And then Argentina in September. And then Ethiopia again in October. Kind of awesome.

More to come soon, but I thought an update was in order. And something that's been hitting me a lot recently- there really is so much more than mediocre in this life. Pursuing more is what we're made for.

Road Trip to Santa Monica Day 1: Bloomington, IN to Salina, KSI

2010-06-27T21:28:00.005-05:00

I'm writing this from a lovely little motel (smiling in an appeasing fashion). Blake and I just got back from dinner at the local Italian restaurant- Martinelli's. I have to tell you that a cold Blue Moon and a little bit of protein does wonders after 12 hours on the road.

Today won't have a lot of exciting news simply because the midwest is just not that...exciting. I mean there are fields, and then there's some corn, and then there's a museum for every single possible historical moment. But regardless, the fresh green and occasional cow fiesta were entertaining. We even stopped at what was deemed a "mid level" sized Bass Pro Shop in Independence, MO. This shop came complete with a massive fish tank, shooting range (laser guns, folks, don't worry), live ducks and your very own personal vacation sales woman! (appeasing smile again)

The good news is that we got through the most boring part of the trip. Tomorrow, we head to Colorado Springs to explore, check out the wineries and relish the beauty that is the state of Colorado. We had it in our itinerary to visit the largest ball of twine in the world, but after a long day and reading an article that talks about the incredible stench that emits from the thing, Blake and I decided to instead take a picture of a large ball of yarn at the Salina (pronounced Sa-lie-na) yarn store.

Alright, I'm off to upload so more music on to my iPhone. The playlists I currently have on there have seen their last day. You can only listen to Michael Buble sing Quando Quando Quando so many times.

Passion Redefined (For the Social Entrepreneur)

2010-06-21T21:30:00.003-05:00

What comes to your mind when you read the word “passionate”? For most, the word comes with an image of energy, drive, well-spoken promises of change and transformation, ideas, and movement. Here’s the issue. This kind of passion doesn’t cut it when we are addressing children dying of hunger, species dying due to environmental pollution, or women devastated by abuse. In fact, the mindset of “I will change the world”, though inspiring and nice to listen to, is actually one that contributes to careless decisions, bad management and ego-driven organizations. I hold this as a warning especially for the upcoming generation of leaders- Gen Y. For years, we have heard how special and unique we are-and how much we deserve and unlike the opinion of the recent column in The Chronicle On Philanthropy, I believe it has posed a challenge for us. The fact of the matter is wisdom comes with a combination of experience and age. We must be eager to pay attention and resolve to not partake in any mission fueled by ego and pride. And that takes brutal honesty.

I want to challenge us to redefine passion. Because if we don’t, then we run the risk of becoming useless in a world that so desperately needs a flourishing generation. The picture of “passionate” that I want to describe comes from conversations with several mentors, colleagues and friends, as we all seek to be people of impact, specifically in the social development space. This picture is one of a person who is quick to listen, slow to speak, and deliberate in action. This individual is so completely devoted to their purpose or goal that she or he cannot refuse the opportunity to observe, listen, and ask questions of those who have gone before them in leadership.

Great leaders are students first. President Barack Obama has Laurence Tribe; Nelson Mandela had Walter Sisulu; and Helen Keller had Anne Sullivan. The lives of these students have in fact shaped the history of their countries and communities. Their commitment to listening, learning and executing with wisdom has been fundamental in this process.

We live in a world, in a culture, where we are told that we can do anything. We are the ones going to change, we are the ones with the power. And as amazing as it may feel to be recognized as such, if we truly wish to be people that fit the description, we must fiercely commit ourselves to pursuing mentorship, studying the science of our cause, and understanding the world in which we operate. In order to be passionate in such a way that is effective and transformative, we must be students at all times.

Doing powerful work in social development- whether on behalf of the environment, AIDS prevention, or anti-trafficking efforts- requires a unique combination of humility and confidence. Humility comes from recognizing that we do not know everything, and frankly cannot do everything on our own. It takes the work of those who led before us and around us. And confidence is employed in the application of the learning we gather. With the support of mentors, colleagues and communities, we must move forward, make decisions, and pursue our goals with strength and, again, humble grace.

Much work is to be done in the social development space and it requires a team of intelligent, excited and grounded individuals who leave their egos at the door and see learning and observing as an active part of making change. We have no choice but to be passionate.

Bologna and Now Venice

2010-05-29T02:54:00.004-05:00

I don't have a ton of time, as we are about to head out for our first whole day in Venice, but I thought I'd write a quick update on the past 3 days.

Bologna is a really cool city. I found it to be lot less hectic than the other places we've been and felt a bit more at peace when walking around the city. We had this really cool opportunity to visit the place where my grandfather studied orthopedics during his medical training. It was almost a little surreal picturing Hans Wolff in a white lab coat walking down these halls. It was 1934-35, the fascist government had just begun their fierce persecution of the Jewish people...and my grandfather was a Jewish doctor. He escaped seriously within a week of his life to France, and then on to the states...all because a US doctor he met in Bologna arranged for a visa-without even asking my grandfather.

On that same token, we visited the old Jewish ghetto in Bologna which is now a museum honoring the suffering that this people has had to endure over the past 500 years. I am again reminded of how important it is to fight against injustice- not just on a state or military level, per se, but in our own lives-the way we choose to approach this world.

We took a short train ride to Venice and all I can say is that the moment I stepped out of the train station, facing this city surrounded by water, I felt like I could actually breathe for the first time. We are staying in the Palazzo Stern Hotel which was an old palace (built in the 15th century) and was just newly renovated in 2008. They have done a wonderful job of maintaining the palace feel while also giving a sense of modernity. We walked around a little bit yesterday-this city is a photographer's playground. And I don't simply mean the architecture, but the human and nature interactions are stunning. Yesterday, I snapped shots of a father swinging a boy around in the sea of pigeons, a man with corn in his hand being attacked by pigeons, two boys sitting by the water eating gelato, and a group of school kids buying gelato. It's just alive.

We had dinner on the roof top right near San Marco plaza and enjoyed a water front view, bellini and fresh food. While dining, we saw this ship called The World pass by. I had never heard of it, but a British lady explained that people actually buy apartments on this boat and it literally travels around the globe, following the sun. It's like a little village. Sign me up! (Ok, not really, but how cool would that be??) I also laughed as a couple we had spoken to, upon realizing that 1) we are a family and 2) we have been on vacation together for 2 weeks, asked us how we are still laughing and smiling. I responded, "Well, I guess that's even more reason to believe in Jesus." Haha. But really, we have had some days-as all families do- where I think we all just needed our own personal space, but over all it has been fun to be together and do this as a team. And frankly, I'm not sure if we will be able to do this again-for this duration of time-ever. So, good to have the opportunity while we can.

Tonight, we will go to a string ensemble concert-they're playing Vivaldi's Four Seasons-featuring instruments actually made here in Venice. And it comes with the acoustics of a beautiful chapel here in the city.

I think I have reached a point where only photos will satisfy the curious mind at this point. So this will be my last Italia post until I return home. So, in the spirit of this country, "Ciao!"

Florence, Siena, and My Thoughts on Tour Groups

2010-05-26T09:37:00.005-05:00

Before I get into the play-by-play, I have to vent a little bit. I hate tour groups. Period. The ones that are about 20+ in size and have absolutely no sense of respect or personal space when in a museum or church. Now to clarify, it is not that I do not love or respect the people in these groups...but the concept of being herded through a city for a photo op or history lesson makes me seriously nauseous. I never want to join one...and I vow that I never will. Hold me to it please.

Anyway, we enjoyed a wonderful tour of Florence on Monday. Our tour guide-Anna- was an energetic young woman who loves art and history- quite the contrast to our 60+ year old tour guide in Rome who was about as excited about history as a 5 year old toddler. Anyway, I learned a lot about Italian culture during our hour car ride together (my family followed closely behind us). She told me of the struggles of homelessness, education...nothing particularly atypical. She also explained why Italy was so open- the very nature of the people is welcoming unless you're from Eastern Europe. Apparently over the past years, immigrants from those countries have been behind serious organized crime.

When we entered the Duomo church on the tour, we were met with the beautiful sound of a choir. The music was a pleasant reminder of how much I love harmonies and acapella ensembles. And then when we were in Siena last night, after an amazingly refreshing dinner, we happened upon the close of a festival where a choir of over 200 children sang of a better world. My heart soared with them. I think these two things have to have been the coolest incidents we have had thus far.

To severely summarize, the past two days have been filled with people watching, new flavors, learning how to love and hate the Hertz GPS system, great winery visits, and wonderful photography. I will say, however, that after 5 days in Strove, the Wolff clan was ready to leave. Castel Bigozzi, though nice, is very small and we left just as a couple of...well...interesting guests arrived. To be blunt, these two males- both going through Italy on motorcycles- represent the brutish, rude, male population that abuse and manipulate women for power. You could seriously smell the attitude coming from them- in the way they flirted with the waitress, to the way that they "thanked" my mom when she returned the borrowed salt shaker. One of them was married and I pity his wife. I know this runs the risk of sounding harsh, but these are the boys who never grew up...who stayed in adolescence and think the world belongs to them. Anyway...we left and are in Bologna at a very lovely hotel with real hair dryers and softer beds.

We will be here just for 2 days. Tomorrow, we will visit the university founded in 1000 AD, where my grandfather attended medical school. And then we finish our trip in Venice and Milan. To be honest, it's nice to enjoy a few minutes removed from the "moving around" and reflect on all that has occured over the past week and a half. Thanks for traveling with me on this journey...it's fun to share all of this with you.

Continuing on to San Gimignano and Assissi

2010-05-23T11:37:00.006-05:00

Something that I forgot to mention while in Rome that rings true here as well- the entry ways are all photography worthy. Every single one. And no, this is not just me waxing poetic. Art is seemingly in the blood stream in this country. Even today as I made an 800km hike up to the castle on the hill of Assissi, each turn I made was beautiful...perhaps to inspire the people who do this walk on a daily basis? I plan on posting several pictures upon my return of door ways that have caught my attention. I do choose to walk by some, but each time I do, I feel this need to justify slowly creep up, which is usually answered by an internal monologue of reasons why I did not take the shot.

It has been a quiet past few days for me as we have visited many smaller villages. I find that I actually don't have much to say. (Surprising, I know) My response is more one of intrigue, observation and fundamental awareness that this world is so much bigger than my little universe. Of course I had a few words when we tasted award-winning gelato in San Gimignano (no, really...they have won awards in the past 3 years for being the best gelato in Italy), but for the most part, I have little to say. I only feel this sense of utter gratitude for having the opportunity to be here.

For all my Cru friends, yesterday, while on top of the tower at San G., we asked a girl by the name of Laura to take a family shot. She mentioned that she worked in Italy and three questions later found out she was on STINT here. She was accompanied by a girl who was doing her summer project here as well. We took a moment to pray for both girls as they work to start a Christian ministry on a near by campus.

Yesterday, we also went to Chianti wine country and enjoyed a free wine tasting at one of the local places. The prices still blow me away. You can get a really really good bottle of wine (2007 reserve) for under £15. I think back to my local Marsh or Big Red and just shake my head.

This morning, we headed out early to Assissi- just about a 2 hour drive away from where we are staying in Strove. The term "scenic route" had to have been coined in Italy. While driving on the main highway (atune to I-95 or 65 for my midwest readers), to my right was a picture of rolling hills, towering cathedrals and villages and to my left, a beautiful lake decorated with tall trees and flowers. Not your typical New Jersey Turnpike drive.

We arrived honestly in the nick of time for the 12PM mass at the St. Francis Cathedral. We walked in just as the first mass was ending, greeted by a beautiful arrangement of the Hallelujah Chorus as a celebration of Pentecost. For our service, a local high school band and girls choir blessed us with the music. Though the service was in Italian, my Anglican roots allowed for me to follow the service pretty closely. Then, as if God knew I needed to feel His presence this morning, the sermon, though in Italian was pretty clear to me thanks to my Spanish. He spoke of the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives, the grace we received when He came, the richness of God's glory manifest in His people. It was beautiful.

After a short lunch, we began to walk through the town of Assissi. I had this real desire to explore and walked ahead a bit. Soon "a bit" turned into a ways as I made my way up to the castle that guarded Assissi since 1124. It was a hike, to say the least, but once I got to the top and purchased acqua con frizzante (the every day person's pelligrino), my body forgave the exercise. I walked in and around the castle for a little bit, but then feeling a bit uneasy at the fact that my parents and sister were still not there, began to make my way down. My pace probably quickened as the hills got less steep and I said a quiet prayer that they would know to meet me by the car. This sent a sleu of thoughts through my head...you should always have a cell phone with you, you should always have the numbers of your parents' international cell phones, and you should always have the numbers for the US Embassy. Gratefully, we met up at the parking lot-my Dad was minutes away from going to the polizia- and all was well. Feel free to scold me, friends. I own it 100%.

A quick note about the food. We went to a restaurant on Friday night called Casalta. It was hands down the best food we have had since arriving here in Italy. They had an appetizer which was basically diced sashimi on top of fresh tomato, topped with either peas, lima beans or asparagus. If you added wasabi and soy sauce, you would have an incredible sashimi dish. I will be informing my favorite Fairfield location upon my return.

As we were driving back today from Assissi, I found myself thinking "I am actually ready for another city". We are touring Florence tomorrow, have one more day in this area, then off to Bologna...and then...to Venice! A slow progression back into the urban feel of this country and I am very much looking forward to it.

I mentioned they entry ways...but another wonderful piece is that if you turn around to reflect on where you have just come from, the view is equally as lovely. Just a coincidence? I think not.

Welcome to the Italia in My Dreams

2010-05-21T10:04:00.003-05:00

I am very very aware that my words will not do the following update justice, but bear with me as I do my best to try.

We took a train from Roma to Firenze (what the Italians call Florence) that lasted about an hour and a half. I immediately saw the transition from the gray cement and concentrated streets to the rolling hills of the countryside. It actually reminded me a bit of the way Ireland impresses us with emerald hills and farms. I even saw a few herds of cattle along the way. Once we arrived in Firenze, the Wolff clan, along with our 4 monstrous suitcases made our way towards the Hertz office. This was a bit of an adventure, but after we found the correct address (for those who know me...insert appeasing smile here), enduring the teasing stares of locals watching us drag what could be our entire wardrobe through cobblestone stress, and passing this bakery that had meringues the size of my head (and NOT stopping), we found the place. We got our car, and although by some miracle of God, it fits all of our luggage, I have resolved that when I return, I am bringing a backpack and relying on local laundromats to keep my clothing clean. Planning on traversing a European country with your family? Well, there are no Ford Expeditions on this side of the pond.

We then set off for about an hour drive to Strove- a small town just outside of Siena. This place is filled with vineyards, castle like structures, and incredible scenery. We are staying in Castle Bigozzi- a small place hidden on top of a hill. It is akin to a small bed and breakfast. The owner serves you capuccino at your request and even lets you use his personal computer! My sister and I are staying in a room that is only accessible from the outdoor plaza equipped with hammock, swing and-weather permitting- a pool. Breakfast is served from 8-10 AM in this glass walled room that overlooks a village of farms, vineyards and small market.

This, my friends, is how I have envisioned Italia. This is the place that I have dreamed of for years. Yes, the monuments and the history is worthy of mention- to say the least- but this culture, the beauty and the lively nature of these people is what draws me to this place. It is quiet here, but so so rich in story and culture. The blues and greens of the vista are even deeper and brighter than what I envisioned...but yet, it is almost just as I expected.

We are here for the next five days and then it is off to Bologna and then to Venice. I hope to be able to update after our Assissi trip, as it is the one I am anticipating the most. We will go on a full tour of Florence on Sunday as well. Lots of art, architecture and excellent food!

Until next time,

Amy

The Pope, Le Vatican, and Shopping, O my!

2010-05-20T09:44:00.003-05:00

To say the absolute least possible, it has been a FULL three days. We had the chance to actually see the Pope address the public and drive around the crowd in his nifty Pope mobile. Abby and I climbed a lamp post at St. Peter's to get the best view which resulted in a TV spot and lots of pictures from the media. I guess we looked super anxious to see the man who runs this powerful Catholic world on earth. It was interesting to see all of the different types of people present and on the same token, the languages in which the service was conducted. Spanish was admittedly comforting to hear.

This probably goes without saying for those who have enjoyed Europe, but we have been walking A LOT. I wish I had brought some sort of tracking device that could measure the distance, but I don't think I'd be exaggerating if I said we walk at minimum 5 miles per day-minimum. I'm also not sleeping very well. I'll sleep maybe 4 hours straight before waking up. My poor sister has to endure my restlessness. However, nothing really beats waking up every morning to the fact that we're in Italy.

Yesterday, as we were getting ready to head out for the day, I looked out my parents' hotel room window to find an older couple leaning together out their apartment window. I snapped a couple shots, but that was by far the most European thing I've seen. We then went to Campo di Fiori- an open market with everything from fresh produce to special gadgets that core a zucchini to look like gnocchi. The bustle of that place was cinematic. After a delicious lunch, we went to a small museum that displayed replicas of Di Vinci's machine engineering.

Today, we went to Le Vatican and the Sistene Chapel. Our tour guide was frankly mediocre, but my two favorite things actually were in the apartments of the artist Rafael. The first, is a ceiling painting of the cross standing in the place of where a now destroyed marble statue of some important Roman person once stood. I just felt it reasonate a bit with how I was feeling as we walked through corridor after corridor of "stuff". All beautiful, but as my mom put it- built on the backs of the poorest of the poor. The second was the carved signature of Martin Luther also in one of Rafael's apartments. To think of this man who literally went up against the most powerful institution of the time and won...all in the name of the Gospel and here I am, centuries later photographing his last name. Again, I wonder what went through his mind as he carved that. As he finishes the inscription, he softly chuckles, in my mind- the kind of pensive laughter that indicates a sadness for someone. What did Luther think of all the gold and ornate wealth?

A few personal notes for those who read this:

Alex, we didn't find your pizza place (we're staying in the Levatican area), but we went to this amazing place called The Island of Pizza today. It was absolutely enjoyable.

Tom and Shelli, when we were at the Colosseum, Dad fondly recalled randomly meeting up with you guys and loved revisiting that memory.

Steve J, we literally walk everywhere and I think of your enthusiasm for the European lifestyle.

Lisa and Joe, I bought a bottle of Limoncello in your honor.

I think it's fair to say that my family is ready to leave Rome-which we do tomorrow. We head for Florence by train. We're staying in a small town in an area called Siena. We'll be enjoying Florence and Assissi over the next 5 days. I anticipate loving both.

P.S. Cannolis...known here as cannolo siciliano...yeah...thank God we're walking so much.

Italia- Beginning Thoughts

2010-05-18T10:39:00.004-05:00

Hello from Rome!

I doubt that we will have Internet very much throughout our stay, so I wanted to take advantage of the little time I had to share some of the highlights of our first couple days in this amazing country.

First, let me tell you that from the moment we got on our bus to our hotel, I was in love. The country side, the accents, the small cars and cobblestone streets all captured my attention and confirmed the expectation that I have had for so many years- Italy will be wonderful. We arrived at our hotel at around 9AM Italy time (which is about 3AM EST), took about a 2 hour nap and then got ready to go to St. Peter's - Basillica. We stopped for some lunch where I had my first Italian pizza, covered in "Rocket" which is what they call arugula, balsamic vinegar and olive oil. Delightful!

Then we made our way to the Basillica. Mom was the only one of the four of us smart enough to bring an umbrella, so a street vendor became a fast friend when it began to down pour. Determined travelers that we were, we stood in line for about 30 minutes, during which time Dad purchased 4 sweatshirts. If we weren't tourists then, we were now. All three girls donned various colours of "I <3 Roma". I chuckckled at how obvious we were. Regardless, I soon abandoned those thoughts to the next few hours consumed with photography. I waand am unbelievably grateful for my new camera. The pictures (they'll be posted at a later time) of St. Peter's and the artistry are pretty amazing. As we were walking through, though, I couldn't help but wonder what the Apostles would say to such ornate memorials of their service to God. We decided to meet at the entrance and as I made my way toward my mom and sister, I glanced to my right to see nothing else but a red pair of TOMS shoes. This was too funny. So, of course, like any good employee, I went over to the girl from Korea and asked if I could grab a couple photos. She asked me when TOMS will start selling in Roma. :) Our day ended with a walk through the city back to our hotel- a chanec for me to absorb a bit of what it is like to live here- and then dinner at a place about 3 feet from our hotel. Joe and Lisa will be glad to hear that along with the homemade pasta and local wine, I introduced my parents to lemoncello-a liquer used to cleanse the palate before dessert. Mom and Dad got the orange version which tasted a bit like cough medicine...ok it was awful. Haha. After dinner, we went up to the roof garden of the hotel but for a few moments because we were greeted with a very protective mama bird who was guarding her egg. Day Two

I slept fairly well for the first night-considering we had two naps the day before. We woke up early to meet Carla, our tour guide while in Rome. How do I describe Carla...she is a bubbly, edgy and very Italian Roman who loves her city. She's about 5 foot 2 with bleached blonde hair- about 60 years old. Juan Carlos was our driver today around what Carla called the heart of Rome. We walked around the ancient ruins that included the Colloseum, the Pantheon, and several other buildings that were said to be the foundation of Rome-dating back to centuries before Jesus Christ. The city of Rome is built in layers- an image that is a tool for any writer to indulge in symbolism. And as I was walking around today, I couldn't help but imagine the people of ancient Rome- the conversations, the debates, the markets, the stories that defined each person...and then wonder who would be standing in my place 2000 years from now marveling in a similar fashion.

I'm sure I'm not the only one, but I have a bit of a different perspective while walking around this city. I am fascinated by the stories and context of the every day Roman. The one who has to get up early each morning to go to work at a local restaurant, the men who sip on espresso every day at around 4PM, the teenagers with multi-colored hair and piercings who hate school, but love life. This land is oozing with story. I'm fully aware that the economic environment here is less than stable. I see that religion is very much a visible/external part of life and I wonder what it is like to have literally millions of people here each day that are not of your culture. I see evidence of globalization- sushi restaurants, McDonalds, and Nike-and I see a real commitment on behalf of the people to their local story. Fascinating. And this is just day two.

Today is Abigail's birthday and it has been truly enjoyable watching her return to this city a third time. She loves European culture in general and is somewhat more at home here than in the states. Makes me wonder if I'lll ever be visiting her in this area.

We are here for two more days, then we are moving on to Florence and Assissi. I'll do my best to share what I can as we go. For now, I bid you good day! Ciao!

The End Brings Beginning

2010-05-02T15:07:00.005-05:00

Dear friends,

I am a bit humbled today as I get ready to pack up my apartment and actually leave this city for a new home. I graduate tomorrow afternoon and then on Monday leave for the beginning of a season that will eventually have me winding up in Santa Monica, California where I will be working as the Giving Special Projects Manager for TOMS Shoes. Last week, as I headed to my very last Connexion here in Bloomington, I began a letter to the Lord reflecting on my 6 years in this town. I'll finish it today.

---------

Dear Lord,

I have to tell you, these past 6 years in Bloomington have been nothing short of transformative. You know that, but it is almost bizarre. I try to reach back in my memory when I first came to Bloomington and vaguely remember the drive from the airport on a road that I would travel more times than I can count. As an East Coast girl who grew up by the sea, I was initially scared by the corn stalks and rolling landscape...but it was just this past month that I breathed a sigh of relief when I re-entered the same Indiana landscape after a drive to Chicago.

I recall the single tear I shed as my parents headed back to Indianapolis after dropping me off in Read dorm for the first time. I sat by the piano and pulled myself together to enter into this unknown season. That first year was troublesome, wasn't it? It was then that I discovered that one of the enemy's most deceptive weapons is that of apathy. But it was by your grace that I found a church home and found it somewhere within me to keep going each Sunday.

Sophomore year was transformative for us. I began singing with the Connexion worship band and you began the process of stripping away the things that were keeping my attention from you. I met my best friends that year- the women who now speak your truth and grace into my life. I met the people that you would use to start Renovo- and that in itself brought an incredible season of growth, pain, and recognition of who You are and how You move.

The last two years of undergraduate reawakened Mexico for me, as I had the opportunity to return to Chiquila with a number of people from this little Indiana city. It was quite the experience to rediscover my love for that culture, those people and then watch as you began to prepare me to offer this ministry to you. It was also in this time that I chose to stay in Bloomington to complete my graduate degree- what a whirlwind that second semester of senior year was!

And now, here I am on the other side of the two year program that gave me the opportunity to explore new careers, travel to new places, meet people that would very explicitly contribute to where I am going next. I would have never guessed that Mexico would provide me with the project that would send me to Austin, TX for Clinton Global Initiative University. And there I would meet Dan Morrison, CEO of Citizen Effect- a man who has encouraged, supported, and connected me to this space in incredible ways. And that is just one story.

My heart has been broken here. I discovered more of Your joy here. I've enjoyed powerful relationships with people that I pray will always be a part of my life. So much has happened. It has been extremely full of life-shaping experiences. The difference between the 18-year-old girl that came here to learn and the 24-year-old that leaves to learn is almost unreal to me. And yet, as this season ends, I have a sense of gratitude that I have been in a time of preparation for what is to come.

Father, you have been with me as I have grown through these past six years, and I know you will be ever close for the next six.

With love and expectancy,

Your daughter,

Amy

The steps of a man are established by the Lord,
when he delights in his way;
though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,
for the Lord upholds his hand.~Psalm 37:23-24

Dear Soda, I'm sorry, but I'm breaking up with you.

2010-04-21T08:36:00.004-05:00

Hello there,

So I'm going to steer away from my typical blogging topic to share with you all that I have officially given up soda. At some point this weekend, I was slightly overwhelmed by 1) how much I was drinking per day and 2) how much I actually did not enjoy the experience. Weird, right? Drinking something that I actually didn't enjoy. Now, to make matters worse, I only would drink the diet stuff- so while it was calorie minimal, I was opening myself up to over 92 side effects that come from aspartame. Sheesh. And according to one article, drinking diet soda actually increases your cravings for sweets and junk food. And I had gotten to this point where my throat burned when I drank the stuff. And I'm a singer. So I stopped. I stopped because I think it might have an impact on my energy, my complexion, and my overall feeling about my physical well being.

Believe me, I'm not a health nut, but I think there is something to be said for wise intake. And thanks to my lovely friend Kristin, I've been thinking more about local food, supporting the local community. Not sure what that means in the long run for me yet- how I will go from thinking about it to practically implementing it in my life, but I'll get there.

For now, soda is out. I'm still allowing myself seltzer or all-naturally flavored sparkling water. And I have replaced the Diet stuff with juices, smoothies, water, unsweetened teas, and my most recent favorite, iced Dr. D's from Soma (it's a ginger tonic lemonade type thing-amazing).

But don't worry Coke, if it was a choice between you and your counter-part, I'd choose you all the way- even if your beverage could potentially lead to fun stuff like diabetes, blindness, acne, blood clots, and osteoporosis!

God's Gift of Time

2010-04-14T10:55:00.005-05:00

If you had asked me a year ago to guess how I would be feeling at this moment-just three weeks before graduation- I probably would have told you that I would be immersed in work, constantly on the phone with potential employers and going at the speed of sound to figure out what's next in my life. Alas, I'm sitting at a table outside of Soma- the local "cool hippie" coffee shop enjoying the heat of the spring sun on my back. There's a breeze too. And I've got the time to write. It's lovely.

I spent some time with a beautiful friend of mine yesterday enjoying the 30% off sushi special over at the place on 3rd street. We were talking through some things that drew me to pull out my Bible and read aloud Psalm 37. Go ahead, look it up. In this passage you'll find the words that we hear often, "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart". You'll also find the promise "The steps of a man are established by the Lord when he delights in his way; though he fall he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand." There are promises of the righteous inheriting the land and abundance of God, those who find their salvation in the Lord find also their strength.

All of these were things that I needed to be reminded of- how great is our God that He saves, provides, protects! I know that this isn't necessarily news, but it's truth that I have to rest in right now. A lot of things are changing over the next couple of months for me. I'm moving, hopefully starting a new job, traveling, and beginning a new life somewhere. That's no small deal and I know I'm not alone in this. Several of us are in the same boat. But, in the midst of all of this change, we have the opportunity to find rest in His unchanging faithfulness.

Sometimes we just need a reminder. All life and joy comes from Him.

Going One Day Without Shoes with TOMS Shoes Fans

2010-04-08T11:42:00.014-05:00

Time: 9:36 AM-So I’ve been intentionally barefoot for all of 20 minutes and I’ve already noticed some things. First- pavement. Walking barefoot on that stuff hurts. Even though the grass is still wet and cold early in the morning, it is a welcome relief from the little pebbles and cement that clothe most of the downtown area. Second, the ground is a lot colder than the air. Even though it’s a mild 60 this morning, walking to meet my friend for breakfast reminded me that even just a simple pair of flip-flops or “chanclas” as they call it in Mexico would keep my feet warm.

To be honest, I wasn’t going to do this today. I’m not home all day. I’m meeting my friend for breakfast, going to a coffee shop to do some work, and then going to class. Later I’m going to dinner with a friend and then a club meeting. But once I saw that Dan Morrison went to a diner in DC without shoes, I was inspired. So I’m hoping that as I recount my story throughout the day, you’ll be inspired not only to walk barefoot, but to use your resources on behalf of those who live in extreme poverty.

Time 10:30AM- Here's a shot of me in the coffee shop

Time 12:52 PM- So, after a delightful conversation with Katie from More Than Me, I took a walk from the coffee shop to the bus stop. I was going to walk all the way to class, but time wasn't my friend, so I hopped on the A route to the psychology building. This part of my day was interesting. First, I noticed how much more aware I am of where I am stepping. There is a lot of glass on Bloomington side walks! Second, I then thought about how much less aware of this situation I would be if my walk was immediately related to whether or not I would eat this week- how more focused I would be on my destination. I actually wondered what it would be like once I would become accustomed to this. Would I even be aware of the dirt digging into my feet? Another thing- no body notices. Ok, one person noticed on the bus, but she chose not to comment. I imagine that she thinks I'm just one of those "creative types". After all, I am carrying around my !deation Conference bag that says, "Love Human. Do Good."

Another thing. Doing this makes me curious about why I'm doing it. I want to learn facts. So I haven't had the chance to look up a ton, but here are a few interesting facts from the TOMS website:

A leading cause of disease in developing countries is soil-transmitted diseases, which can penetrate the skin through bare feet. Wearing shoes can help prevent these diseases, and the long-term physical and cognitive harm they cause.
Wearing shoes also prevents feet from getting cuts and sores. Not only are these injuries painful, they also are dangerous when wounds become infected.
Many times children can't attend school barefoot because shoes are a required part of their uniform. If they don't have shoes, they don't go to school. If they don't receive an education, they don't have the opportunity to realize their potential.
In Ethiopia, approximately 1 million people suffer from Podoconiosis, a debilitating and disfiguring foot disease that is- get this- completely preventable.

And of course, here's a shot from the classroom. I'll let you know if my professor says anything.

Update later!

Time 3:54PM: Ok, I'm a little ticked. I started this about 20 minutes ago and then Safari decided to act ridiculous. Alas. Here I am, over half way done with my day without shoes. I'm actually about to head over to Dunn Meadow here in a few minutes to get my feet painted...I'm still divided on whether or not I'm actually going to do this, but I'll at least get to see who else is joining me today in the Bloomington area! They're doing this walk around campus, so it should be fun.

So, Audrey, you asked for some organizations that give shoes to kids in Africa. I'll name two because the others I found were either collection sites or their sites broke my internet.

The first one is the group putting this on-TOMS (see the link above). The concept is that you buy a pair of shoes and they give a pair. They're a sustainable way to get kids going to school with shoes on their feet. It's awesome. The second group is Common Threadz. You can actually TEXT a pair of shoes to a kid. Creative!

For more, here's my google search:

And for my !deation friends, I hate that Macs take photos backwards, but I know you'll appreciate it just the same. :)

More later!

Time 1:48 AM: So the day is over. I can wear shoes again. And I want to tell you about the event I attended. About 50 or so of us gathered at Sample Gates on campus and did a lap around the entire university. The walk took about an hour and I kept fairly quiet as I observed. Many, if not all, of the students were younger than me, which of course made me laugh. As we were walking together, I noticed the laughter of two girls next to me. This made me think about the kids I know in Mexico. How, even though they have little, they are still able to laugh, giggle, play, shout, and enjoy life. It's kind of amazing how something as significant as footwear can be...well...insignificant.

As we continued on, I began asking the students why they were involved. Some joined because they just love TOMS shoes, others joined because friends asked (or mandated) that they attend, and still others just wanted an excuse (and a good one) to walk barefoot. I took the opportunity to explain a little bit about what I had discovered today about Podoconoisis. Most of them ended up asking if I had organized the walk- I mean, since I knew so much about it. I chuckled and told them that I had researched it that day. And once I told them that I was graduating in May from graduate school, they all resounded an understanding "Ooooooh" as if that explained my "unique" understanding of the issue.

And of course, this all led me to contemplate our work a bit. I mean, it's great to get people involved, asking questions, being "activists" for our cause. It's exciting and builds community. But I would say we have a fierce responsibility to educate. Because although it may be laughable that Brian did this walk because Kim asked him to, if he knows the impact of what he is supporting, Brian can become a powerful voice and advocate-and even fundraiser.

I'll end with some pictures from the walk. Thanks for joining me!

~Amy

People of the Church. It's Time to Shut Up.

2010-03-30T11:54:00.009-05:00

I'm going to start this with Isaiah 1:16-20. Simply because it defends my point.

Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean;

remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes;
cease to do evil,
learn to do good;
seek justice,
correct oppression;
bring justice to the fatherless,
plead the widow's cause.

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord:
though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red like crimson,
they shall become like wool.
If you are willing and obedient,
you shall eat the good of the land;
but if you refuse and rebel,
you shall be eaten by the sword;
for the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”

WHAT THE CHURCH IS DOING RIGHT

I have had couple of dinner conversations recently that have sparked a bit of a sobering thought within me. The people of the Christian church aren't listening. We are consumed with the color of paint, the floral arrangement, the hour that the service starts. We're missing the point.

Now, before I spend time sounding yet another horn about how the Church is failing- we all know that that message pops up in the headlines nearly every day- I want to look at some of the work that the church has done and is currently doing. I'll do this in the spirit of the recent (and awesome) Google ad.

1. "Church homeless shelters"

2. "Christian International Justice"

3. "Church Help Haiti"

4. "Church Orphan Care"

5. "Church Medical Outreach"

6. "Church Environmental Outreach"

7. "Church Addresses Hunger"

8. "Church Clean Water"

9. "Church and philanthropy"

10. Here's a surprise.

Those are just 10. There are many more. The people of the Church are responsible for a lot of the major organizations doing phenomenal work in the world and here in the states. I do understand that.

A GHANIAN PASTOR'S INSIGHT

What I don't understand is why we (we= people in churches that affirm that Jesus Christ is Lord and affirm the Nicene Creed) don't get what Jesus has called us to do. To shut up and be Christian. A few years back, I was sitting in my midwestern evangelical church. It was missions week. A Ghanaian pastor was speaking today. It was already a little different to have someone with an accent sharing the message. You could feel it in the room. And then he began to speak. His message, if adhered to, would shatter the comfortable "Sunday church box". I will never forget the essence of his message.

He said, " If you have time to argue about the flowers, the type of worship, the placement of the chairs, then, Church, you bring disgrace to the gospel-the saving message of Jesus Christ."

You could feel the unison gasp. But why is this so surprising? Why does this make us squirm? It breaks my heart that people still have conversations- passionate ones- about whether or not hymns are energetic enough for worship. It is sick. I had a conversation today with the co-founder of Mana- one of my favorite organizations that is seeking to address acute malnutrition- starting in Rwanda. 26,000 children in Rwanda suffer from this. TWENTY-SIX THOUSAND. And we have the audacity to be bitter and angry about the topic of the sermon. It. Is. Disgusting.

WHAT WE ARE CALLED TO DO

Listen people. We have an obscene amount of blessings in this country. Just think about your day. You wake up- blessing one. You put your feet on a floor- blessing two. You go to the bathroom- blessing three. You get dressed- blessing 4,5,6. It goes on and on. You have the opportunity to use what you have to answer the commission we have to serve those who are without a voice. Who do not have the energy to ask for help. Who are dying from AIDS.

We ARE called to help those who are in need. We ARE called to defend the cause of the oppressed. We ARE called to give of our financial resources and our time. It is because we know that Jesus is Lord. It is because we know that our Redeemer lives. It is because we are saved by His grace. We MUST serve out of response to this truth.

We are NOT called to explain natural disasters with our interpretation of God's will. We are NOT called to promise lives of success and wealth. We are NOT called foster hatred and judgement towards those who may not agree with us politically. We are NOT called to chatter. It is because we know that Jesus is Lord. It is because we know that our Redeemer lives. It is because we are saved by His grace.

CONCLUDING THOUGHTS

Christianity is not for the lazy. Join those who are actually responding to Christ's call to serve the poor. If you aren't, you're missing the point.

St. Francis of Assisi had it right- "Preach the gospel at all times, but when necessary, use words."

We gain the right to speak when we demonstrate that we care. We gain the right to speak when we get our knees dirty serving the poor. We gain the right to speak when we hold a mother who is dying of AIDS. We gain the right to speak when do something. Before then, we have no right. None.

I'd like to end with this simple old song that I believe captures the heart of this well.

"We are one in the Spirit. We are one in the Lord. We are one in the Spirit. We are one in the Lord. And I pray that our unity will one day be restored. And they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love. Yes, they'll know we are Christians by our love."

The Something I Must Never Forget

2010-03-21T16:48:00.003-05:00

I'm sitting here after enjoying an incredible time away with my mother. We enjoyed the beautiful Grand Cayman Island. It was lovely. While I was there, I was able to reflect, breathe and read a couple of books that reminded me of how much I need the Lord.

For those interested, the two books were Breaking the Idols of your Heart: How to Navigate the Temptations of Life by Dan B. Allender and Tremper (what cool name) Longman III, and Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller. Both touched on how the deeply rooted modern day idols (namely money, sex, power, righteousness, even spirituality) can affect your life. They both have some extremely valid and Biblical points about how painful and real these idols are. Frankly, I could write an entire blog series about the things that stood out to me. But, I'm going to focus on just one- because it was a harsh, but healthy reminder of this truth that I cannot forget.

Here it is: My relationship with Jesus Christ does not exempt me from suffering.

Read that again. Upon first glance, it probably is a bit of a downer right? "Life is hard." But there's more to it than that. If you look at it, there's an expectation that this phrase is attacking. How often, as a believer, do I look up to the heavens when pain or loneliness comes and scream out "Why God?!?" as if I had an expectation that life would not be hard- that I would not suffer. There are times when I actually do think that because I am a Christian, I'm entitled to a free and easy ride. Which is why I get so upset when it isn't that way. And frankly, it's pretty ridiculous considering that a large chunk of Scripture actually teaches me how to respond to suffering. I read examples of how God comforts, of how pride keeps us from resting, even rejoicing in the midst of hardship.

So, if I live in a way that I do not get surprised when things are hard, but rather allow yourself mourn when it's sad, cry when it's painful, and then actively seek out the blessings- because they do exist. If I think about the times when I just choose to not recognize what He has done for me, it honestly blows my mind- how blind can I be? I mean besides the whole saving me from eternal separation from God thing, He's blessed me with family, work, passion, music, friends, a home...I have no reason to not rejoice. And rejoicing need not be ecstatic, but maybe just gratitude for the fact that I'm breathing.

We cannot expect a free and easy life, but we can anticipate that by God's grace, He has provided us with truth, strength and grace to walk through them.

I really need to get better at remembering this. Because how often does forgetting this truth lead to choices that I regret?

A Brief Thought on This Life

2010-02-21T22:38:00.005-05:00

Before I go to sleep...

This life is hard and confusing sometimes. Profound? No. Necessary to hear? Yes. Why? Because seasons like these can feel lonely. But you are not a piece of driftwood lost in the toss of the ocean.

And if you're not going through one of these seasons, then would you take a moment and welcome those close to you to come and find rest in your commitment to being a prayer warrior with and for them. Be bold. Do it out loud at inconvenient or uncomfortable times. Pray for them. Be knee bent. Don't let the "busyness" be your reason for not serving those who need...those who need to see Jesus through your friendship.

~Amy

The Brighter Way Haiti Choir Project

2010-02-14T19:03:00.003-05:00

I issued a call for choirs across the world to come together and sing "Brighter Way", a song I wrote this summer, for Haiti.

I hope you enjoy it!

Show up and Be: Thoughts on Romans 2

2010-02-11T07:42:00.004-05:00

Good morning.

I always appreciate when I have an hour or so in the morning to ease into the stuff of the day. And there's been a lot of stuff recently. It is one of those seasons in which demands on each day's time are pretty high. And going through it reminds me of how multi-faceted and intricate we are. Because as I'm walking through this time, I'm also ever-aware of His consistent shaping of my heart and mind. If I were to try to figure each element out, I'm pretty sure I would go crazy.

I can't go on without telling you a story of an interaction I had with a friend back in September. It wasn't a radical event, but I'm pretty sure that it transformed my life. I'm a thinker, an analyzer. It makes me an excellent strategist, but a pretty self-centered friend at times. I was visiting this friend (we'll call him Cliff) and one of the afternoons, he was sitting by the piano, just playing. Not thoroughly enjoying the silence, I asked him a question that would cause him to self-analyze- something to the effect of, "What gives you joy?". His response-stern and strong- was "Amy, just be." Initially, this bugged me. How dare he silence me?! (smile) But one December morning, long after the trip was over, those words came to me again. Just be. Just be who you are, where you are- and really be there. And I understood what freedom lies in that concept. It's a chance to slow down, chill out...and yes, shut up.

That sets the stage for the way I am approaching my time in Romans. I'm reading through it again, as I've realized that this time has given me a different (and perhaps more of a mature?) approach to truth. It is with a recognition of where I am right now- what that means. So when I read that "God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance", that means that this imperfect woman, who has some issues of pride and fear, will repent of those things because of who He is. It means that my heart is softened, I mature, I am able to love, because of who He is. (See 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 for list of "who He is").

As I go further into the passage, I totally resonate with Paul's rebuke of those judging. "While you preach against stealing, do you steal? You who say that one must not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols do you rob temples? You who boast in the law dishonor God by breaking the law?" (2:21-23) This is where the "shut up" humility is so necessary for me. It is my nature- I default- to judgement. It's not really as if I sit there thinking, "Hmmm. This person is a SINNER." No. The thoughts are much more subtle. "At least I don't deal with X like this one does" or "Man, that would really be awful if I had to deal with that. Yikes." Those are my default thoughts. So, knowing that about myself- I need to just be quiet. I don't need to form an opinion on someone's life. I need to truly be still and know that He is God. This means in control, the one who knows the secrets of the heart, and the one who has called me to love. His ways are not my ways. I cannot understand why. So I need to just be as I seek to know Him more.

And the interesting thing is- as I seek Him and learn more of His character, my efforts to "just be" are less trying. Amazing how a knowledge of the Creator enables the creation to rest. (smile)

Let His Love Be Your Home

2010-01-21T21:50:00.003-05:00

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full."- John 15:9-11

Today is my 24th birthday. And I had a pretty beautiful start to the morning. It began kind of early, but that gave me some extra time to spend in the Word. And though I've read John numerous times in my life, this morning the words "abide in me" that Jesus spoke struck me differently. Let me explain.

One of the hard things about these past few months has been this overwhelming sense that I didn't have a home. Yes, I have an apartment. However, I spend time at school, time in other cities, time in my parents' home. A lot of travel. All of this is a blessing- don't get me wrong. But moving around this much removes any sense of permanence- home. This left my heart deeply saddened at times. And I often found myself "too busy" to read His Word.

I had the chance to go to Urbana-Intervarsity's major conference that happens every three years. One of the days, I took a walk around the expo, stopping at the Vineyard booth. As I was looking through some of their materials, a woman came up to me and asked if she could pray for me. She began to pray and ended up asking that the Lord would provide me with a home. I'd never met this woman. But she touched on the very longing of my heart through her prayers.

Then, while I was visiting Connecticut this holiday, I met with a dear friend. As we were catching up, she shared with me this concept- "The Lord is your home." He is your resting place in change. He is that sigh of relief after a long day. He is the steady place. And here's the cool part...His Word testifies to this.

The word "abide" means to rest, continue, stay, to make your dwelling. And after a gentle rebuke from my mentor- which I'll explain in a minute- I have found home in my Lord. My mentor was listening to me explain this "disconnect" I felt with the Lord. To which she responded with the question, "Are you spending time in His Word?" My response was, "No, it's just really hard because life is so full right now." To which she graciously said, "Amy, life is always going to be full. It really is just a matter of choosing to do it."

And in these past weeks of spending time in His Word on a daily basis, I've discovered what it means that He is home- truly. This time with Him has created a sweet intimacy, a real care for His heart for others, a deeper connection in prayer and frankly, has allowed me to see this Haiti mess with a fierce commitment to service. Listening to Him through His word gives us the opportunity to better recognize His voice. His ways. His truth. And on the same token- be able to point out and rebuke that of the enemy.

It just makes sense-especially in a time of change- where many things are transient- that the unchanging God would be home. And to find home, we must know who He is. Discovering who He is starts with His Word. Life is always going to be full. So choose to know Home and know Love.

Thank you, all, for a wonderful birthday. 24. Pretty awesome (smile).

What I Always Forget

2010-01-09T23:23:00.004-05:00

"Jesus loves me, this I know for the Bible tells me so..."

I've been here for a while. Contemplating this very simple, over-sung, over-spoken phrase. Jesus loves you. How often I roll my eyes at this "cliché" and move on with my day as if I have more important things to remember to help me get through. Recently, thanks to a sermon by Dan Waugh, one of my pastors in Bloomington, I've been somewhat captivated by this. So, Jesus loves me. As in, he intimately knows me-and provides for not what I think I want, need or might satisfy- but what I actually need- what actually satisfies. Dan talked about the story of Lazarus and Jesus raising him from the dead. Mary and Martha, Lazarus' sisters, had asked that Jesus come to heal their ailing brother. He didn't come right away. In fact, when he got there...Lazarus was dead. Now, this used to boggle me- I mean, Jesus had demonstrated his ability to heal already. Why didn't he just do it? It wasn't until Dan spoke on this very thing, that it began to sink in. "Jesus knew that they (Mary and Martha) needed a resurrection...they needed more than a healing."

There are a couple of parts of this that have been most powerful for me. First, Mary and Martha had to wait- and there was no way on earth that they could have seen beyond their grief. I don't know about you, but I totally get that. When life is unclear, or I feel as if I need an answer- and soon- it is really hard for me to see outside of where I am at. I get consumed with the moment and demand an answer from God. And I don't understand why He isn't answering...but the waiting and allowing me to wait actually contributes to the power of what He provides. In fact, often in this time of waiting, I am ever-aware of my inability to provide my own solution. The grief, frustration or confusion that comes in waiting can result in a couple of responses: sitting in the grief or lifting your eyes. This lifting your eyes piece requires a trust in the truth that Jesus loves us. Meaning he knows us and wants to provide us with good, not evil. This leads to the second part.

He actually loves us. Like for real. If you think of a really awesome couple that you know- if you'd had the chance to peer into their lives a bit, you'll notice an honest, not fluffy, intimate connection. There is real confidence that each one is committed to protecting, serving, walking with and delighting in the other. You have this sense that there is real work that goes into establishing a relationship like this...and it is a blessing to all who interact with them. Take another example- a father and a child playing on the beach. The father delights in his little one and as she runs around, touching the water, playing with the sand, she has no doubt in her mind that he is going to be there. Every now and then she turns to make sure he is...but it isn't fear...it's just checking in. The father also calls her name when she gets too far, runs to her when she's in danger, carries her when she's hurt. How intimate this love. And to think that this is a mere fraction of Christ's love for us. Here's the kicker. After all of the displays of his love, both in my life and throughout history, I still have the gumption to doubt whether or not it's real. I don't tend to trust Him. And it's foolish not to.

The final part- the one that has transformed the way I pray. Jesus wants to demonstrate His glory...He wants to give us resurrections in our lives. The things that bring us to a deeper knowledge and love of Him. There are times for healings and miracles that we "expect", but I also think that there are radical times for the deepening of our relationship with Him. I want to be closer to Him- so I pray for resurrection in my life, heart and soul.

I write this as I am about to return to Indiana for my final semester of graduate school (celebration!!)- and with this comes the reminder that I need to trust that He will provide and guide and resurrect. I must continue to work for Him, seeking to glorify Him in what I do, say and think...but ultimately, it is He who opens the doors and transforms lives. I want a resurrection, Lord. Give me the grace to wait for your time.

Serve the Ones who Serve

2010-01-02T16:20:00.007-05:00

Acts 4:23-30
When they were released, they went to their friends and reported what the chief priests and the elders had said to them. And when they heard it, they lifted their voices together to God and said, “Sovereign Lord, who made the heaven and the earth and the sea and everything in them, who through the mouth of our father David, your servant, said by the Holy Spirit, ‘Why did the Gentiles rage, and the peoples plot in vain? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers were gathered together, against the Lord and against his Anointed’—for truly in this city there were gathered together against your holy servant Jesus, whom you anointed, both Herod and Pontius Pilate, along with the Gentiles and the peoples of Israel, to do whatever your hand and your plan had predestined to take place. And now, Lord, look upon their threats and grant to your servants to continue to speak your word with all boldness, while you stretch out your hand to heal, and signs and wonders are performed through the name of your holy servant Jesus."

I decided to follow suit of the thousands of bloggers and write a brief, but intentional blog regarding my thoughts as we enter into this new year. I was actually inspired by friend, Sara, who wrote a blog back in October talking about the single life in the mid-twenties. There are a few major things that will be happening in my life this year. First, in 19 days, I'll be turning 24. It's the age I always wanted to be...seriously. When I would play as a little girl, I would dream of the day I'd turn 24. In fact, I had resolved, at my wise age of 12, that by this year, I would be bearing my firstborn child. That way I would be 42 when my kid graduated from high school- still young enough to enjoy life. Laughing yet?

This year will not bring my firstborn, but it will bring a Master's degree, a few trips to places I've never been, the potential of my first "grown-up job", a new home. In other words, 2010 will bring some significant change. It's a pretty vulnerable place to be, is it not?

I just returned from a trip to Intervarsity's major conference- Urbana. There, I was met with over 16,000 students trying to answer the question, "What should I do with my life?" These 18-22 year olds were grappling with their sense of purpose- how it should be manifested. And ironically, though I was working for an organization that was seeking to answer that question, I was right there with them. The speakers discussed numerous ways that a young person could use their lives- go live with the poor, rescue the oppressed, care for the sick. These are all the things I want to do. I mean, I want my life to be devoted to the purpose of Jesus Christ. But, as I listened to the sermons, discussions and speakers, I couldn't help but feel as if my mission didn't quite fit with this radical movement. Some of it did- I want to "live to be forgotten", that God would be glorified, I want to empower those who are suffering with hope and life. But something was missing for me. I didn't feel called to go to a specific country or people group. This was quite unsettling. It wasn't until the last day, while I was running around in the exhibit hall, that I got some of the words to place to a portion of my mission. "Serve those who serve."

Twitter is fascinating to me. And you can laugh all you want, but I have connected with and met some amazing people who have brought change. Here I was in St. Louis, MO, exhibiting at a conference with thousands of people, and a young woman- with whom I first connected on twitter- happens to be there as well. We only spoke for a few minutes on Thursday, but in those few minutes, she planted a seed of thought that resonated with my heart. She told me of her time of service in New Orleans after Katrina. "The badge of honor during this time was to gut a house- you had to do it," she said. But when she arrived, she knew that God had placed a different calling on her- to serve those who served. She coordinated food, facilities, bedding and other details so that those gutting the houses would have a place to come and be.

The more she spoke, the more I began to recognize-soberly- what she said next, "Amy, this road is a lonely one." I got that. I got that it definitely feels lonely. It's so much more celebrated to be the one on the ground, handing out the food and water, physically embracing the lives you for whom you care so deeply. But you see, those who touch also need support. They need a voice, a place to rest.

And though this is not the complete picture for me- it definitely is a major puzzle piece of what I both currently do and will continue to do. So as all of this change comes in the near future, it is a least a little settling to know that though the road is lonely...I am most certainly not alone in my plight. And I as I think about it more...the majority of those who have recently entered my life have this supporting role as well. There's more to this...but it's a start.

Happy New Year!

Learning How to Pray

2009-11-24T20:23:00.005-05:00

I know that I told you that I would write this next entry on David's prayer, but the Lord has recently revealed something to me about prayer that I want to share with you.

Speaking with our God, consulting His word as you do, brings peace, clarity and strength. Let me briefly explain. When faced with circumstances that perplex and sadden, it is so important that we 1) bring these emotions to Him and 2) seek His word for His promises. I spoke to a woman yesterday who gently, but firmly reminded me to seek His word to remember who and whose I am. Without knowledge of this, life is chaos. Period. It is from this knowledge- that I am a daughter of God and that I belong to Him, that I can begin to seek out truth regarding who He is.

I was brought to 2 Corinthians 4:7-18 today as I was on my first flight home for the holidays. The blessing of this was found in the first verse of that section, "But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us." From that verse, Paul begins to talk about his sufferings...how we are persecuted, but not crushed, perplexed but not driven to despair. Do you get why? His power. We can fundamentally rest in the hope found in the power that raised Christ from the dead and will raise our tired spirits from seasons of sorrow.

What does this have to do with prayer? We have the responsibility to actually consult the Lord in His word when we pray. Prayer is an active crying out to God and we know that He will answer us and He has answered us. To suffer apart from His truth is to sulk and stay stuck in it. His will is perfect, His love is steadfast (unchanging). I just realized that praying without purposeful exploration of an answer in His truth is the equivalent of talking to the walls. I can just hear Him saying, "I've given you the manual. Open it and I'll guide you, by my Spirit, to the answer that will fill your heart."

A dear friend sent me Psalm 34:17-18 yesterday to remind me that the Lord hears the cries of the righteous. The Lord is near. And we are righteous when we accept the salvation of Christ. We claim righteousness in His blood and resurrection. Check out this passage:

17 When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears
and delivers them out of all their troubles.
18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.

19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the Lord delivers him out of them all.
20 He keeps all his bones;
not one of them is broken.
21 Affliction will slay the wicked,
and those who hate the righteous will be condemned.
22 The Lord redeems the life of his servants;
none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.

Do you see the promise in that word? He answers us through His word. And then, once we receive the answers, we can and probably should bind it in His name, leave it at His feet and trust for Him to reveal clarity and purpose in it all. And as we wait on Him (which we are reminded to do repeatedly throughout scripture), we have the opportunity to delight in who He is, worship Him and serve others in each day.

What a gift.

~Amy

P.S. It helps me to journal through this and just see the words on the page. But that's just because I talk a lot and sometimes purpose gets lost in my ramblings (smile).

Entering Hannah's World Part 2

2009-11-09T08:23:00.004-05:00

Before I continue with Hannah's prayer, I found this song on a friend's facebook page and I think, at least it captures her time of crying out that we looked at in 1 Samuel 1.

I hope it's a blessing for you. It's such a peaceful and desperate song. Good way to end the week, I think. "Have mercy on me please."

Hannah's Prayer (Part 2)

So we walked through the first half the powerful words- worshipping God for who He is, declaring victory in Him, expressing joy.

The Lord kills and brings to life; he brings down to Sheol and raises up. The Lord makes poor and makes rich; he brings low and he exalts. He raises up the poor from the dust; he lifts the needy from the ash heap to make them sit with princes and inherit a seat of honor. For the pillars of the earth are the Lord's, and on them he has set the world.

I clump these three verses together because they all are dealing with the same theme-same character of God- He is completely in control. Life is in His hands, he determines the way things should go in this life. Now, this separate from the first half of this prayer has the potential of seeming emotionless and distant. But remember the joy of Hannah? The joy of seven sons?! The salvation that God provided through opening her womb? This God of ours is deeply intimate, knows what is best for us. Do you think her praise would have been as deep-her relationship as intimate if she was "normal"? Coming from someone who has a couple abnormalities (that's such an ugly word), no...it wouldn't have been. I personally have learned how profound it is that He is our perfection. As in, we do not have the ability to be perfect and in that lack thereof, we have the opportunity to receive HIS gift of perfection that He works in us throughout our lives. The circumstances we have in this life, if we choose to look to the Lord, give us even deeper insight into who He is and thus result in deeper joy. Don't believe me? Check out Lydia's story here: http://lydiaeileen.blogspot.com/.

“He will guard the feet of his faithful ones, but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness, for not by might shall a man prevail. The adversaries of the Lord shall be broken to pieces; against them he will thunder in heaven. The Lord will judge the ends of the earth; he will give strength to his king and exalt the power of his anointed.”

How precious is it that the Lord guards the feet of His children. Again, think of where Hannah was and how true she felt this to be. God has completely restored her and it was HIS work that brought her to this place. "Not by might shall man prevail"- the strength of an enemy, or even the works of the righteous are not what brings victory. No, it is the power of the most High God who lives and reigns. Our God is strong, He is intentional ("he will give strength to his king and exalt the power of the anointed), and he brings life. And, even more so, he defeats those who come against Him. So for those who trust in His name, there is protection in His power. Do you claim it?

The next prayer I'll work through is David's prayer in 2 Samuel 7:18-29. Thank you for being on this journey with me.

-Amy

Entering Hannah's World Part 1

2009-11-05T21:15:00.004-05:00

I had a really sweet time today during my lunch break. I sat by a stream in the middle of campus, ate my pizza and then began reading about a woman by the name of Hannah. For those of you who haven't heard the story, it starts in the first chapter of 1 Samuel. Here's how I would envision her telling us about her story and talking to her God...

Another year has passed and we're here again in Shiloh. My husband is faithful servant of Jehovah. This should be a time of holy worship, of peace and of rejoicing. But each year we come, while my dear Elkanah is making the sacrifices, Peninnah, his second wife chides me about my empty womb. I know it is out of jealousy- I know women well. I see how it angers her when Elkanah bestows upon me double the amount of food and drink. She's cruel, I tell you! I can barely even think about eating when I see her and her children together. I can't bear this pain of not providing my husband with a son. He is so understanding too. He truly loves me. But still, what a dishonor not to be able to offer this gift. Peninnah continues to taunt me. Here come the tears again...

Oh, Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of my life. He will be yours Lord. I will not allow his hair to be cut, to signify that he is yours.

In the middle of my quiet prayer, the high priest Eli came to me. I must have been moving my mouth while praying. He begins rebuking me for drunkenness. Really? I sigh, and then in earnest sadness explain that it is out of sorrow that I weep and pray. Then, he softens and says, "Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition that you have made to him." I left the temple feeling a sense of peace I had not had in years.

(Some time later...)

What a truly faithful Lord we serve. I say this with utter joy and humility as a hold my son, Samuel in my arms. It is almost time to return to Shiloh, and I have told my husband about the vow I made to the Lord. Tomorrow I will go and present him to Eli. He will be a servant of the Most High God.

It was during that moment that Hannah presented her treasured son to Eli that she began to pray as Eli worshipped the Lord. I posted the prayer in the previous blog and just want to walk through each part of it. This will spill over into another post, as the prayer is 10 verses long. I'll take the first 5 tonight. Before I do though, I want to note that I see a delicate intimacy in Hannah's relationship with God. It's this very private, very valuable. She is a daughter crying out to a father. I just love that image of her silently praying-that connection of intimacy in the midst of pain. I feel like I know that place well.

"My heart exults in the Lord; my strength is exalted in the Lord. My mouth derides my enemies because I rejoice in your salvation."

The exultation and worship-the power in this first bit brings the attention the One who has provided. The strength that she has comes from Him. The second piece- her mouth derides (or scorns) her enemies...because she rejoices in His salvation. He has redeemed her by providing this son. She has found new life in the ability to provide it. And those who oppose her (remember the 2nd wife?) now are shamed because of what He has done in her and through her. That is cause for celebration!

"There is none holy like the Lord; there is none besides you; there is no rock like our God."

This declaration of who He is- I feel like this is missing a lot in my prayers. So often I just come with requests, but part of being in relationship, I think, is verbally acknowledging and celebrating who the person is! And what a way to lavish love and praise on the Lord, but to declare the truth that none is like Him. Amen and amen.

"Talk no more so very proudly, let not arrogance come from your mouth; for the Lord is a God of knowledge and by him actions are weighed."

In other words, "Lord, keep us from arrogance-shut us up in our pride!" This exhortation for us to be silent in our pride-for the Lord is the one that measures our actions and our deeds. How often does pride infiltrate into my relationship with God? He knows all things and judges all things perfectly. She's getting ready to declare what the Lord has done- and she does it in beautiful and eloquent poetry. Do you sense the spirit of strength in her?

"The bows of the mighty are broken, but the feeble bind on strength. Those who were full have hired themselves out for bread, but those who were hungry have ceased to hunger. The barren has borne seven, but she who has many children is forlorn."

Here she specifically addresses what the Lord has done for her and I love the way she does it! Not only has He blessed her with a son, but the joy she has is the same as if she were blessed with seven children! In addition, those who opposed her no longer have the power over her. They are put to shame in seeing what the Lord has done.

I'll continue with part 2 soon, but what we can take from here about prayer...

1. Prayer is intimate. The value of intimacy with the Lord-and knowing that that comes in the knowledge of who He is. We often actually see this in great pain, because that is when we feel need deeper.

2. Prayer is a response. Hannah responded in pain and responded in joy. Both moments, she cried out to God. One was pleading, asking, based on His character. The other was joyfully declaring His character. In addition, the Lord wants for His children to have joy. He provides for that. Not always in the way we understand it or think it should be, but He has made us to rejoice in Him. How incredible that His power brings us joy, thus Him worship.

3. Prayer helps us remember. We must remember who provides the blessing and declare it often. The moment we forget who provided, we lose sight of purpose. And prayer is one of the ways we can continue to remember His works.

Be blessed,

Amy

Prayer: Introduction

2009-11-03T22:03:00.005-05:00

Recently, the topic of prayer has come up quite a bit. Makes me think that God's trying to get my attention on the subject matter. Can't blame Him, can you? "Learn about talking to me." So, hopefully in the next few weeks, I'll have learned more about what it looks like to engage in conversation with the Lord. I've begun reading this book, Life in Christ. Reading this first chapter began this process of thinking about prayer. Lloyd-Jones says this one thing (on p. 16) that really hit me (and at first annoyed me). He says,

"Therefore, (after talking about the truths we know as believers in times of danger) in a situation of difficulty and of crisis, the first thing we must do is to make sure that we have grasped the New Testament teaching. I do not want to be controversial, and I am particularly anxious not to be misunderstood, but if I may put in a phrase, in order to call attention to what I have in mind, I would say that in a situation of crisis, the New Testament does not immediately say 'Let us pray'. It always says first, 'Let us think, let us understand the truth, let us take a firm hold of the doctrine.' Prayer may be quite useless and quite void. The Bible has a great deal to tell us about prayer and as to how it should be made. Prayer is not a simple thing in one sense; it may be very difficult. Prayer is sometimes an excuse for not thinking, an excuse for avoiding a problem or situation."

That last line left me irate when I first read it over. How can prayer be useless and void? But then I began to think about it-for about a week. How often have I made a struggle or issue larger or used prayer as a means for disobedience? When I know that there has been action needed to be taken and I've simply continued to pray about it out of fear? As if to confirm that I needed to pay attention to this, I randomly decided to listen to a sermon from Thaddeus Barnum at Church of the Apostles from July 12 entitled "Yes, Lord I will." In that sermon, he talked about the simplicity of obedience. "I don't have to pray about whether or not I should pay someone under the table, cheating the government," he says, "the Bible SAYS what I need to do."

Now, I want to be careful, thanks to a reminder today. He said, "I would just say, don't hold back because you think, 'oh ... I shouldn't be praying for this.' Look at the Psalms - David prays for plenty of things that he knows are true already. He recognizes his human inability to desire rightly or act rightly, and so he asks God for help. I'm not saying not to listen to what these sermons/books are saying, but do err on the side of complete disclosure to God instead feeling like you need to tip-toe about in your prayer life."

What I'm pretty sure Lloyd-Jones is not saying is that we shouldn't pray when we are worried, sad, just because we know that God is comforter, in control. But what I think he is saying is that we DO have access to the Lord's word and His truth. So rather than getting stuck in this pit of despair and agony, we can open His word to gain guidance-holding fast to truth. This is a very active relationship, I'm realizing.

These next few posts hopefully will include some of what I'm learning about prayer, in the hopes that it will bless and actually serve as a means for accountability for me. I'm going to look at different prayers in Scripture in the hopes of uncovering more about how to talk to this God who loves me. This next post (in the next few days) will take a look at Hannah's prayer. I've posted it below for your convenience. Thanks in advance for your patience with me as I go through this. I am slightly reluctant. But I've learned that reluctance in studying His ways and His truth usually means that that is exactly where I should be.

1 Samuel 2:
And Hannah prayed and said,
“My heart exults in the Lord;
my strength is exalted in the Lord.
My mouth derides my enemies,
because I rejoice in your salvation.
2 “There is none holy like the Lord;
there is none besides you;
there is no rock like our God.
3 Talk no more so very proudly,
let not arrogance come from your mouth;
for the Lord is a God of knowledge,
and by him actions are weighed.
4 The bows of the mighty are broken,
but the feeble bind on strength.
5 Those who were full have hired themselves out for bread,
but those who were hungry have ceased to hunger.
The barren has borne seven,
but she who has many children is forlorn.
6 The Lord kills and brings to life;
he brings down to Sheol and raises up.
7 The Lord makes poor and makes rich;
he brings low and he exalts.
8 He raises up the poor from the dust;
he lifts the needy from the ash heap
to make them sit with princes
and inherit a seat of honor.
For the pillars of the earth are the Lord's,
and on them he has set the world.
9 “He will guard the feet of his faithful ones,
but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness,
for not by might shall a man prevail.
10 The adversaries of the Lord shall be broken to pieces;
against them he will thunder in heaven.
The Lord will judge the ends of the earth;
he will give strength to his king
and exalt the power of his anointed.”

A Song I've Been Searching For

2009-10-13T20:12:00.003-05:00

When I was younger, I used to sit at the piano and play this one part of this song over and over again. I loved it because the music soared, but I didn't know the words. I just knew the concept of the first verse and the bridge. Tonight, by the grace of God, I found all of the words to the song on some random blog. And it came at an incredibly timely moment- a needed reminder of the beauty of His love and how it clings to us. I've included a musical version of it. I pray that you be blessed. Here are the words:

Oh wondrous love that will not let me go–

I cling to you, with all my strength and soul.

Yet if my hope should ever fail

This wondrous love will never let me go . . .

Oh wondrous love that comes to dwell in me–

Lord, who am I that I should come to know

Your tender voice assuring me

Your wondrous love will never let me go.

I rest in you, the everlasting arms, in the ever faithful heart, the shepherd of my life.

You carry me on your mighty wings of grace keeping me until the day I look into your eyes.

Oh wondrous love, oh wondrous love, wondrous love, oh wondrous love . . .

Oh wondrous love that sings of Calvary–

The sweetest song this sinner’s ever known–

The song of your redeeming Son,

Whose wondrous love will never let me go.

Oh wondrous love that rushes over me,

I can’t escape this river’s glorious flow!

You overwhelm my days, oh Lord.

Your wondrous love will never let me go.

Will never let me go . . .

Can Students Help End Global Poverty?

2009-10-06T11:20:00.002-05:00

I received the below question in an email from a colleague and I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. I'll share mine in a later blog post! I'm excited to hear your answers!

Q: Why do we believe that student engagement will hasten the end of poverty? In other words, what is the theory of change or the causal chain of reasoning that links student engagement and the end of poverty?

Working It Through

2009-09-18T21:10:00.003-05:00

It's been about two months since I last wrote in this thing and probably with good reason. I've not had a lot to say that is honest, committed to truth. I could start it off with saying how incredibly full my schedule has been. I'm involved with much and therefore don't have a ton of time to give to spiritual conversation. Or I can say that school just started up again and it's been really difficult readjusting to academic life. I could give a list of reasons. However, I'd prefer to stick with what's true. Because if I'm learning anything, it's that this relationship with God that we seek, if we seek it, is a constant part of our living and breathing. It's not something to "work in", it's the reason we even have the day to work with. So here's honest, no Christianese and I hope it blesses you.

Recently, I've been rebellious to listen to the Lord, to be in His presence, to even attempt to seek Him. And it's pretty ridiculous because my life is absolutely blessed. I was reminded of this today when I read through an update of a family that is hurting right now. They are going through processing the devastating knowledge that they're going to lose their little baby. And their response? "We are blessed..."

There are times that I wake up and realize the extreme amount of "me" and my life that swims through my thoughts. I get so consumed with what's going on in my life, a career choice, a romance potential, a friendship, that I forget the very reason I even have any of those blessings...is HIm. And it's not as if I don't already know Him. I've tasted joy in His presence. There is such clarity and rest found in His will. But time gets busy, I get overwhelmed, or whatever the excuse may be. You see, the truth is that the purpose or reason for any good thing done on this earth is to bring the Creator glory. And when we actively participate in that truth, we receive joy. It's pretty unreal.

I was talking today with a colleague about how systems are perfect and wonderful, until you put people in them. Communism, government, business, the institution of the Church. All examples of imperfect and failing systems. But when does the Church fail least? When do we actually declare God's love and saving mercy found in Christ? I find that it is when we answer Christ's call to get outside ourselves and serve Him and others in thought, word, and deed. When's its less about the grandeur of people's involvement and more about a commitment to excellence in loving, serving, forgiving, extending grace.

So this is me reprimanding myself (don't you love that?). I'm not perfect. I don't claim that ever. I'm not even good on my own. BUT I have access to goodness and life in this God who is good and is Life. This apathetic cycle of ignoring God's voice, not seeking His will, gets old after a while. We start complaining about nothing. It's ugly and heavy. That is not life we've been brought into in our King. We have been brought into such a heart beat that we have the mind to see the widowed and orphaned, the rejected and abused, we hear people asking for deliverance.

I recently wrote a song with those words, and then realized that I forgot something in that song. We (humans) are not the brighter way, but rather those that bring news and reflect the light of The Brightest Way. We, in and of ourselves, aren't purpose, but we bring news of the One who is...and not only that, but He is identity and stability and salvation. We have the power of a voice, a mind, a heart, and action-oriented plans. When wed with the life of Christ, it is then that we begin to solve problems and offer true freedom. And we bring that deliverance...not of ourselves, but the gift of God in the form of education, water filtration systems, microfinance, AIDS relief programs, poverty awareness, and most importantly prayer. Deliverance is found in Christ alone- a simple answer manifested in various ways for a complex and complicated world.

It's easy to get overwhelmed by the issues...how will we ever solve them all? I heard this amazing quote today that I think conveys the answer to that. "Don't tell God how big your storm is. Tell the storm how big your God is." And that telling is in the form of committed and passionate service. We serve a mighty and victorious God- One who is mighty to save.

Here's what I'd like to end with...a victory song from Hillsong:

I see the king of glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes
The whole earth shakes

I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing
The people sing

Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest!

I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith
With selfless faith

I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees
We're on our knees

Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest!

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to
Eternity

Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest!

I think this one was a long time coming...He is purpose. For this, we sing.

Delight in Relationship

2009-07-30T11:57:00.002-05:00

"But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere"~ James 3:17

As I've been walking through these past months, I've had the delight of experiencing this relationship with God-truly seeing how he is integrated into every part of our lives. It's easy to categorize, of course, but if I've learned anything this summer, it's that His presence in each "category" of our lives is what makes them beautiful, joyful, and profound. How blessed I have been to see Him in friends, two different areas of work, and new experiences!

My dad asked me if this was the best summer I've had in my life. I don't think I would say that, but I would say that this summer has profoundly impacted my perspective, my knowledge, my network, my understanding, and my passion for what I do. The people I've met, the movements I've joined, contributing to the fight to eradicate poverty, have all deposited a new blessing of wisdom that results in powerful growth. That is the Lord's hand in all of this. Seeing Him in a very real, awe-inspiring role in each area of my life. I think this is what they mean when they say to make the Lord your priority...or rather what they mean to say. Having this relationship with the Lord means seeing Him in each area of my life. And then worshipping Him.

I think for a long time, I viewed this Christian life as religion. But it's not. It's life, infused with grace, simplified through salvation, and ignited with passionate commitment to His glory. It's alive.

What I've been up to these days

2009-06-19T10:25:00.005-05:00

Dear readers,

I thought it might be worth sharing with you what I've been up to since I last wrote. It's been a very powerful season in my life- busy and exciting. I wanted to share an article I've written about a project I've been working with- Imagine This! TV. After reading, I'd encourage you to check out the trailer. It's worth your time. You will find it here: http://su.pr/8r6c0H.

Two years ago, actor Eion Bailey had an idea. He had a love for cinematography, a passion for culture, a heart for people, and desire to foster change. His dream soon became what would be the new reality of reality television. Eion, along with a team of Hollywood producers, artists and field experts, travelled to Peru to meet the need of hundreds of children who endured a grueling 8-hour daily walk to school. Coming together from around the world, the team rewired a bus to run on vegetable oil, providing a sustainable solution for the children and the entire community. The team built an amazing playground, bringing a new joy to these little ones. This was all captured and produced on film as the pilot episode of Imagine This! TV.

“I have always had a desire to inspire people to greatness,” Eion said, “and this is a perfect example of how anyone can use their skills and passions to better this world.”

Imagine This! is more than just a show to watch. It is a show to create. It is an ever expanding network of filmmakers and storytellers, activists and environmentalists, inventors and engineers, doctors, artists and many others dedicated to creating sustainable, life-altering projects for communities around the globe. With the power of an interactive website (www.imaginethistv.com), members have the opportunity to suggest episodes, comment on potential ideas, and tell their stories. Some of these stories and projects will be chosen as episodes of a television series that shows the world as a canvas of creation where everything and everyone is inextricably connected.

On June 10, the pilot premiered at an advanced screening at Project Butterfly in Los Angeles. The response was overwhelming. Eion and the other producers answered questions about the show, the vision for their work, and the impact they hope to leave on both the communities and the viewers they serve. The episode received a standing ovation, confirming for Eion and his partners, that Imagine This! has the potential to revolutionize reality TV.

Currently, the Imagine This! team is looking to increase their website membership to over 10,000. “With this demonstration of public support,” said Rafael Monserrate, Executive Producer and Director, “we will show the networks that this is the kind of television people want to see. The kind that celebrates culture and changes lives.” Anyone can sign up at www.imaginethistv.com.

Filmed with breathtaking cinematography, Imagine This! will journey to multiple exotic destinations — from a sacred valley to a holy land, from the mother of all jungles to the grandfather of all deserts, as well as few of the United States. At each stop there will be a community in need, a mission to complete, and a week to make a difference.

All are encouraged to join the movement, said Eion. “The adventure begins now.”

Thanks for your support! And please continue to pray for me as the busyness of this life continues. God is glorious, faithful and worthy to be praised.

Visit Imagine This! TV

The Simplicity of the Cross

2009-04-05T21:29:00.004-05:00

"Make me to know your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long."~ Psalm 25:4-5

I was lead to this passage of scripture this evening thanks to a sermon on my home church website. The sermon, called "Fix your eyes on Jesus" from March 9, 2008 comes from a Bishop within the Anglican Mission in America. As he spoke and as I have been contemplating on what it is that Jesus has done, I was struck by the grand but simple nature of Christ's sacrifice. He brought salvation- grand, immense, unfathomable. Through forgiveness of sins-forgiveness-it is not complicated or chaotic. It's simple. Profound, yes. Complicated, no.

I recognize how complicated I make things. I think and think and think and consider until the circumstance is dead. Can you identify? A dear friend recently reminded me of this habit I have. And tonight, as I was listening to a short sermon from Erilynne Barnum, she said "When we don't understand something, we attempt to exert control over it." That sounds so complicated to me! And it is. This habit of pulling things apart, and then trying to put them back in to place is 1) not my job, 2) not fruitful. It leaves me obsessed with something else other than life. Other than truth. Other than Christ. Which leads me to the point of this entry...

Tonight, I was thinking about how to do this Christian life. The list can get pretty long, can't it? We focus on not saying this; not doing that; being this way and so on. But as I listened to the words of this Bishop, combined with several seeds of planted thought, a refreshing truth came over me. The Bishop said, "Fix your eyes on Jesus means focus closely on Jesus." Focus closely, don't allow anything to sidetrack us or distract us. And then I realized how simple that is: the concept of focusing on someone. I am capable of focusing on an individual's character, responses, thought processes. I've done it numerous times in this life. So focus on Jesus. Learn His ways, meditate on His character. Learn who He is through serving- as He served in John 13.

Why do I do this? Because in Him is life, freedom, simplicity. Did I mention freedom? I've never been one who loves drama. My preference is a relationship in which I can be completely myself. I have the freedom to be forthright, open, not coy. Real. Drama is complicated; manipulation is deceiving. And it's tiresome. Focusing closely on Jesus demands simplicity in thought, grace in words, and love in action.

I was singing this song tonight- one I've sung multiple times. Here are the 2 lines that stuck out:

Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.

In each movement, action...moving at the impulse of the Love of God. Think about that for a second. That takes radical focusing on Christ- knowing how He loves (fully and perfectly). I know that prayer, when I sing, is one that I've yet to understand. Lord, let each movement I make, each action, be one filled with Your pure love. Wow.

Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from Thee.

Another big one. I think about the stuff that comes out of my mouth on a regular basis. Yikes. So, Lord, may each sentence that comes from my mouth be from Your word. Again, wow.

Both of those prayers take a knee-bent, eyes-lifted approach to the Throne. And the only way to do this, is through knowing Him, thus, knowing His word. I've spent too much time away from Him lately (translated: I've not been reading His word faithfully), and it's shown.

So, for those of you who read this, I'd like you to take up a challenge with me. For the next 30 days (May 10), read 1 verse/passage of Scripture in the morning, with the specific intention of focusing closely on our Savior. Fixing our eyes. That simplicity of Christ, this refreshing simplicity reminds us of what He has done for us-thus, who we are. We are made in need of a Savior. That we might know Him...what Life will come.

"He leads the humble in what is right and teaches the humble his way. All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies."~Psalm 25:9-10.

Such Love, Such Grace, Such Life

2009-03-12T23:17:00.003-05:00

"The Lord is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayers of the righteous. The light of the eyes rejoices the heart, and good news refreshes the bones. The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise."~ Proverbs 15:29-31

My dear friends, I wanted to write to you this evening to share with you the wonder that was this day in my life. I have experience such the sweet presence and blessing of the Almighty God today- his blessings are abounding.

I had my ninth surgery today on my ears. For those of you who may not know, I was born with a deformity that meant I was without middle ears and had unformed outer ears. Since 1992, I've had nine surgeries in effort to repair this. Needless to say, it has been quite the process. I've had the incredible blessing of being surrounded with powerful prayer warriors and church family who have devoted themselves to loving me in and through this. In addition, God provided access to the absolute best doctors in the field, ensuring that these procedures were done excellently. My life story, in this regard, is filled with blessing and provision.

Today was the first surgery I had as an adult. It was a different experience, of course, as the surgeon addressed me, rather than my parents, I had to sign the papers, the surgery was my decision. This entire past weekend/week has been saturated with brutal attacks from the enemy. He's been relentless in effort to discourage and distract me from this circumstance. Even yesterday, during the first pre-operative appointment, my family and I met with the previous surgeon (he did the last 3 surgeries), who has since retired. The actual surgeon was unable, at the time, to meet with us, which gave great tension to both my parents and me. Sparing details, we left that appointment emotionally distraught, tense with each other, and discouraged. However, later that evening, the actual surgeon made time to meet with us, describing the actual procedure, allowing me to fully understand what was going on. Peace began to come.

The surgery was scheduled at 12pm this afternoon. Prior to checking in, a family friend met us in the lobby of the hospital and shared with me that she had had vision. She saw the glory of the Lord encircling my head, recognizing that the Lord's protection and power was (and is!) present. Blessing #1 of the day. After getting up to the waiting room, I had some time with my parents, talking with them about all of this. Blessing #2. But after the IV nurse came in, the reality of the procedure set in. I began to sadden as I recognized that this was really going to happen. It's tough stuff-never fun. Tears poured down. But as if on cue (Blessing #3), two dear family friends- my second set of parents, if you will, came into the room. Mark came over, anointed me with oil, placed his hands on my head, and began to pray. He shared that in his dreams the night before, he saw Jesus with his hands over a man's ears speaking Aramaic, "Be open". As we waited for the doctors and anesthesiology team, Mark began stroking my hair (a great source of comfort for me) and we all began to talk. Mark and Yolie are children of joy and laughter, which began to fill the room. So when the other physicians came in, I was in such a place of joy and peace. The sadness and mourning had left, replaced by the Holy Spirit's presence in His people.

I woke up around 6pm, after being in recovery for an hour. I was groggy, of course, but I realized I felt very different than the prior 8 times. My throat was dry, but not in pain, my head wasn't throbbing, and I wasn't nauseous. Within 20 minutes of being "awake", I asked the nurse if I could use the toilet, rather than the typical bedpan. She was surprised, but wheeled me to the restroom, which I used with ease. Over the course of the next hour, the groggy feeling completely left. I drank 3 cans of ginger ale, used the bathroom again, and ate crackers with no problem. And again, no pain, no nausea, and I was completely coherent. The surgeon came to meet me around 7:30 and told me, based on the way I was looking and feeling, that I could go back to the hotel! I know this may not seem phenomenal, but this was the FIRST time in the 18 years of surgical experience that I had this option. I would always stay the night to monitor pain and nausea. It's about 1AM right now, and I feel wonderful. I ate a full dinner (complete with coffee ice cream!) and have been able to walk around with no dizziness or pain. Miraculous.

My heart is overflowing, right now. I can't really explain with words the peace and joy that has come with this day. But, I know that this whole process serves as testimony to the greatness of my God. I pray that in your struggles and the frustrating times, you would see them as preparations for great joys set before you. It is so easy (and I know this!) to get bogged down by the harsh reality of the enemy and his despicable attempts to destroy children of God. But it is just not possible when we are in the strength of Yahweh.

This song has been the echo of my heart today. I pray it blesses you as it has me.

With love and such rich joy,

Lily

Victory

2009-03-09T07:21:00.003-05:00

"When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:

'Death is swallowed up in victory.'

'O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?'

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."~ 1 Corinthians 15:54-57

When the perishable puts on the imperishable...death is swallowed up in victory. When we receive the power of the Lord through His resurrection, the sting of death and sin no longer holds us. I love the image of "swallowed up". Death has not chance in the battle of death and victory and Jesus demonstrated this when he rose in power.

Something that has resonated with me recently is the reality of the battle we fight against an active enemy. Looking at Job, we see an evil destroyer, that I believe we tend to disregard in our daily lives. Just think about it for a second. He is deceitful...and good at it. He's mastered deceit in such a way that we forget he hates us. I forget he hates me. I'll find myself battling against temptation, apathy, laziness, questioning where this is all coming from, reaching a conclusion that I have to draw more lines, set more boundaries, write more laws to conquer this circumstance-as if I am a conqueror on my own (Romans 8:37).

But the way to defeat this, is to recognize and worship the King. In the power of the Holy Spirit- in the self-control He provides, cut off the sin that entangles and immediately turn to worship the Lord. It is in Him that we have power, in Him we have life, and in Him all find rest. There is mighty power in the name of Jesus Christ.

The mighty God, our Father, our Savior, and King, has conquered and defeated our enemy. It is finished...end of story. And we have access to that through Jesus Christ. Recognize the presence of an enemy, rebuke it in the name of Jesus, and then rejoice in the power of victory!

Choosing freedom...and walking in it

2009-01-27T11:31:00.005-05:00

*I previously wrote a post on this passage, but after some very interesting thought, I choose to revisit it.*

"And there was a woman who had had a disabling spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not fully straighten herself. When Jesus saw her, he called her over and said to her, 'Woman, you are freed from your disability.' And he laid his hands on her and immediately she was made straight, and she glorified God."~Luke 13:11-13

This story mirrors the joy of freedom in finding our identity in Christ. When I think of how the Lord has touched my life, setting me free of "disabling spirits" which have so crippled my very day-to-day process, I'm brought to a place of awe.

Not too long ago, my Bible study had a discussion about this very passage. I posed the following question. "What if you were there that day when this lady was healed and then a few months later, saw her bent over once again in the streets? What would you say to her?" The responses were as expected, "Why are you not walking as a healed woman? Don't you know that Jesus healed you? I saw it with my own eyes!" Take the circumstance now and make it analogous to our own lives. As Christians, we are set free from that which held us captive. We can walk straight. However, disability can be comfortable, can it not? Maybe that woman was used to the bent over way of life. I mean seriously, think of the implications. Healing is life changing/altering and from the little that I know of human nature, we are generally change averse.

I was sitting in my strategic management class today and my professor drew out this complex theory of the process of problem solving. The individual responsible for this model had considered so many areas of this process-he highlighted the implied nature of outcomes, the importance of perspective, and the relationship between administrators and the value they produce. However, he did all of this under the assumption that the individuals operating within this model are 1) rational 2) willing to fulfill their roles as citizens in considering the public good and 3) value focused. Have you met an individual, including yourself, who is perfectly rational, chooses greater value over lesser value in terms of the "whole" and actually is living their life under the general question of "how can I make things better for others"? I am not this way and I have yet to meet someone who is perfectly this way. We, as humans, do not act within our own self interest, really, because we have no idea what that really is!

And this is not depressing, but so incredibly liberating! Because if we recognize this fact, we begin to look outside ourselves and find that in Christ, through the power of the Holy Spirit, is found what is best. And we are given instructions on how to walk in that in Scripture. Simply put, God glorified is what is in our best interest. Walking straight is in our best interest. The woman glorified God. She knew her healing had come not from herself-she could not make herself walk straight, but it came from Christ, the Savior and Redeemer.

Continuing in this healing is a simple, but multi-level process. First, know your God. The more we discover about His character, the more it brings us to our knees in worship. The less we understand about Him, the more prone we are to once again becoming our own "savior". Pursue Him through the reading scripture, prayer, worship, and discipleship. Second, surround yourself with individuals who know of your healing and can testify to His work in your life. That family of fellowship allows for encouragement when it seems more comfortable/makes more "sense" to go back to what you know. And third, rejoice. Actually take the time to praise Him for who He is.

Choosing this healing demands life change, but much like the joy that accompanied Pilgrim in John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress when the load was loosed from His back, that change brings with it a life that is "Life indeed".

Come Adore

2008-12-12T12:54:00.003-05:00

“Thus says the Lord God: On the day that I cleanse you from all your iniquities, I will cause the cities to be inhabited, and the waste places shall be rebuilt. And the land that was desolate shall be tilled, instead of being the desolation that it was in the sight of all who passed by. And they will say, ‘This land that was desolate has become like the garden of Eden, and the waste and desolate and ruined cities are now fortified and inhabited.’ Then the nations that are left all around you shall know that I am the Lord; I have rebuilt the ruined places and replanted that which was desolate. I am the Lord; I have spoken, and I will do it."~Ezekiel 36:33-36

Merry Christmas! Allow me to provide you some options on how to celebrate it well.

1. Angel Tree-give Christmas to a child
2. Advent Conspiracy- give water to a village
3. Compassion International- give education/provision to a child
4. Opportunity International- give resources to an entrepreneuer in a developing country
5. Rescue Missions- go serve

These are just 5...but I think you get the idea.