Right now, I am embodying potentially the most stereotypical New York fall. I'm in a wonderful little coffee shop on Avenue A and 12th called Ost. They make a fantastic cappuccino.
Anyway, I have been learning an age old lesson pretty differently recently - namely, the power of presence, the importance of a listening love and what it actually looks like to thrust your anxieties upon the One who holds all things.
It begins with the truth of Romans 8:37-39. We are more than conquerers through him who loved us. Through him who loved us...it's because of the Lord that we can rest and be confident in victory. It's outside of us. It's beyond us. But it's everything to us.
I have often found that when I'm not consciously aware of this, the anxiety and self-indulgent service tends to creep into my life. I become focused on gaining affection. I lose sight of the fact that I, through no power of my own, already have the affection of the only One who matters. But when I do see this, it changes everything.
It means that when I'm hanging out with the kiddos I see every Tuesday in The Village in South Norwalk, I can see that though J may be super angry and anxious, it really matters to him that I know about his grades. It's important for me to look Liam and Abigail in the eye and remember their names. I can see that because my eyes and heart are not so obsessed with my safety, because I know where it lies.
As a single girl, it means pressing into the Lord whenever a gentleman enters the narrative. It means reminding myself that nothing separates me from the love of God and in this life, it's my call to pour out love for others - said gentleman included. It also means that my hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. For real. It means that while excitement is absolutely great and it's fun to enjoy new opportunities, it is not defining, it is not urgent. He is never-failing.
I guess I write about this because I really do understand the struggle of getting distracted. In fact, I've had these moments recently, where I've had to pretty much kick myself into gear again. Respond to emails, push a little harder on doors that may not open easily.
I guess it really isn't that profound or earth shattering - but the simplicity of the truth of remembering WHOSE you are and how that doesn't change really does allow us to see and do so much more.
Presence, being present and loving presently comes through rooting yourself in the truth of the Lover of our souls. So, step out, serve, but as you do, remind yourself that He holds this.
Time for another cappuccino. :)