Yesterday, during my lunch break, I took some time to read some of my favorite blogs and it reminded me that I've been neglecting mine for a while. I mean- the last time I wrote in this thing was over 1 month ago. That's practically unheard of in the "smart blogger" space. It is not because I haven't had stuff to write about- in fact I probably could have written 1 blog post per week, if I wanted to. But, I feel like this has been a real time of standing back and watching- looking, listening, learning about all that is happening in my life.
I'm not sure if it happened while I was cleaning out my closet in an effort to "de-college" my wardrobe or if it's been a progression of events, but I've noticed on several occasions that I've become keenly aware of how grown up my world has become. My good friend just had his first little girl, age is not a determinant of friendship, I'm thinking about traveling to far away places- and saving the money to do so.
When you're in school mode- everything is possible, or at least could be. You dream of the job you'll have next, the place you'll live, the life you'll lead. But once you enter into that next step, the conversation shifts a bit. You're no longer in the "what's next phase" - or, if you are, it's specific to an area of your life. The whole thing isn't a question mark. And the parts of life that are slowly become less loud and scary.
I hesitate to write about this next part for fear of sounding like EVERY OTHER Christian girl on the face of the earth, but I'll trust the reader's trust in me here. As I've immersed myself in the life I'm living, the urgency of marriage, family and even a relationship in general has faded significantly. In college- and in the midwest (sorry guys) - marriage is always the next step. I remember feeling strange that I hadn't met that match yet. I used to think, "I'm 23! I'm old!" and I dreaded the prospect of being over 30 and unmarried. But here's the thing. It's not that big of a deal. Really. In fact, I'm finally understanding what my mom was talking about when she advised that I live on my own and work for a few years before getting serious about dating. It wasn't her effort to prolong my childhood, but she really did understand that for the type of woman I am, it is in my best interest - and the interest of that gentleman who may or may not be a reality - that I know who I am before even contemplating marrying someone.
I know that lots of girls get married right out of school had have amazing marriages- and it's a gift, but I'm not one of those girls. And my life is really great. I have a great church, a fun job, the opportunity to travel around, explore my interests, and invest time in figuring who this woman named Amy really is.
I don't know- maybe this can be an encouragement to the older about-to-graduate college girls who are single without any real prospects. I had a revelation (not profound, but obvious) that I actually know women who didn't get married until after 30. They're really really happy. They had a beautiful bridal glow on their wedding day and their relationships are lovely, fun and strong. It was in His time- they waited (sometimes reluctantly), they were open, and it happened.
It's been a really neat surprise that I'm not miserably single as I expected to be. It turns out that joy and happiness is found in Life- by living it well and fully with recognition of who and whose you are.
It's March 4th. My name is Amy. And life is beautiful.