Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Holding my Father's Hand

"The steps of a man are established by the Lord when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand."~ Psalm 37:23-24

I'm starting into the last few weeks of my summer here in Connecticut. It's been pretty amazing, to say the least. I've learned so much about what it means to be his daughter, to trust Him in each decision, and rejoice in times of preparation. This spirit of freedom, and joy comes from none other than the Holy Spirit Himself. 

The above verse really spoke to my heart in a recent decision I had to make. With my current study of Ruth, discipleship and prayer, I saw this beautiful image of walking with my Father, still a toddler in my faith (though growing). I'm clinging to His hand right now in my daily walking and decision making. At times my feet trip up, but I don't fall to far, because He's holding me. In fact, though my feet my get a little scrapped up, I my life doesn't change. He pulls me up when he senses me tripping.  I'm walking with Him and it's awesome. 

Additionally, I've had the incredible opportunity to witness a few amazing women of God as they grow and develop into even more mature daughters of His purpose. (Yes, Apostles Youth ladies, that means you!) To see how they each see the Lord in very different but very powerful ways inspires me to discover more of His character. We were looking at Ruth together a couple weeks ago and while one would see her emotions as committing, another would see the pain and brokenness. Both ever relevant and both necessary to see the complete picture. 

I've also had the chance to read some powerful books that are actually reshaping my convictions, deepening my faith, and reminding me of truth that isn't always in the square front of my mind. Thaddeus Barnum, Ian Cron and Elisabeth Elliot have all written books on waiting and living in the Lord.  All three, in their works, convey a time where the path and plan was not clear, but a pursuit of Christ brought clarity and understanding...in time. That piece is also important as I move on to this next area of my life. My new ministry is found at SPEA-to delve in and pursue the Lord in excellence in this as I see Him prepare me for what lies ahead. 

You know, I've been single for the past 2 years, but it was not until this summer that I began to cherish and deeply understand the importance and relevance of a time of reprieve from relationships. That time may very well come to a close soon, but the richness of my time with Jesus...and with Him only...will not be forgotten. This summer has changed and continues to change my life. Being fashioned for His purpose is quite the trip, that's for sure. But it's life-giving. 

I recently told a friend in Indiana that my relationship with God is that which gives me joy. It is not the methods, strategies or disciplines in and of themselves, but the outcome of those things. Reading the word, praying, being in discipleship and worshipping all result in God's glory...which in turn results in my growth and joy.  

Returning to Indiana for another 2 years isn't exactly celebratory for me at this point, but I'm holding His hand, walking with Him. He establishes my steps, so I'm going to keep moving forward, trusting in His perfect knowledge of all that is past, present, and to come.  What peace.  

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