Saturday, June 21, 2008

Experiencing the Intimacy of God

It really has been a while since I've allowed myself the time to write here. Over a month, maybe? Anyway, what an amazing, precious and sweet time I have been in here at home. Wow. The Lord has allowed so many beautiful and rich blessings in the past month that I find it almost sobering. I have this picture of being tucked away at the side of my Father, while being loved on is such a way that it revives and renews the spirit.  Daily, I'm reminded of the rest- the gift of being still before the Maker in order that we have time to understand more about who He is. 

It's interesting. I've been single for the past two years by choice and commitment. But shortly after the time of "commitment" expired, the Lord blesses me with this powerful time of being with Him-undistracted and sweet. The past two years of committed singleness had been a bit of a battle. I found myself in this tug between emotions and truth. And I now realize the sweetness of how He protected me. I mean seriously, the Lord did not let anyone near me. And I think that caused me to run to Him this summer-tired of fighting, needing to learn Him all over again...needing to be in relationship with this God I call my Rock and Salvation. We're so forgetful and stupid (hence the parallel to sheep so often), aren't we? I actually, at some point this past year, convinced myself that my time in ministry was actually enough-sufficient to serve as my relationship. But that, perhaps, is one of the easiest lies that the enemy spins. And as I have allowed for daily study, prayer, and worship, I find myself in this new understanding of what it means to be His daughter...and the one He loves. 

He's manifested Himself in the many things in which I'm involved. Be it time with family, time at the gym, time with the high schoolers, voice lessons, time with both mentors, I see His hand all over each moment. I am in love with this Lord of mine. I am watching, in amazement as He shows me things of my heart that I never knew-or could never materialize. And it is interesting how He is testing my faith-showing me the importance of working at trusting Him in a new, unparalleled way. 

Much of me actually doesn't anticipate the return to school. I want to hold on to every thread of time possible here. But there in lies another distraction, which I have to bring to Him. He's teaching me to live in each day-cherishing each moment I have. That's pretty difficult for a planner-especially a detail-oriented one, but I trust Him. And it may seem impossible that I would be ready-and joyful-about returning to school in August. But I know my God reigns. Amen? :) 

No comments: