Sunday, November 12, 2006

Ever-present Grace

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace."

I am absolutely floored at His work. Today, I was hit by this wave of exhaustion. People noticed it too. I had no particular reason to be tired...I had had a nice long sleep the night before. It was all day too...this lethargic "blah" feeling. Then it got strange. I came home, did the usual check-the-email-five-times thing, started a quick conversation online, then felt this need to just GET AWAY from people. It was so hard to explain it too. But I took a long shower, listening to music, trying to "fix it". Then I began to pray. Later that night, thanks to 2 angelic women in my life, God ignited me with joy.

You see, it is SO hard to receive the fact that I am growing up. I'm almost 21 years old. Life is now. I mean, it always has been now, but I feel almost as if the life I've look at and waited to live is happening piece by piece. And there is joy in it, however I have a hard time receiving it. But as I got ready for sleep (clearly not done due to this post), I had a blessed conversation with Andrew, and was reminded of the above song. In the midst of all of this chaos and newness of future-minded choices, let's turn our eyes toward Him. Look at Him and then see the things of this world fade away in His MARVELOUS light.

So I look up and see that this captivity of sin and worry no longer keeps me from freedom. But rather, His sacrifice, HIS life and His resurrection empowers me through His Holy Spirit to take JOY in His plan for me...even if the "hows" and "whats" aren't known. We are walking in the light of God. Still, still with Him. Dancing in His ever-present grace.

More to come, but for now, resting here and so grateful---filled to overflowing. (smile)

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