Thursday, January 12, 2006

Finding Home

James 1:2-3-"Count it all joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance."

Ah, the joys of being without a computer in my room...I'm standing in an empty center lounge typing away. It is quiet. Being back here has been quite the adventure...and we're only on day 5. Slowly but surely beginning to understand the fickle wind that is the world. Praising God for the solid rock that is He. Watching as life unfolds without one person solely to whom I divulge all. Praising God that He is One. Catch my drift here?

Things are changing here. The population of my friends is slowly but surely leaning toward the female side...furthermore, the Christian female side...thus producing sisters. I don't mind standing on my own at all. Because, truthfully, I am not alone, but I am en route to becoming His alone.

I have 9 days left of teenage-dom. I do not think I've been this ready for a "next stage" in life. I am loving being where I am, yet hating aspects of it. Such is all of life?

I'm just going to worship for a while. Just Jesus and me...please don't interrupt. I've been needing this time for too long. I feel as if I have cheated myself from this relationship that was made for me. An intimacy that can be found in a dark sanctuary with a concert grand piano...a worship so raw and true that all is shown. And it doesn't matter who is watching...if anyone at all. There is truth to this life.

In many ways I feel like David when his enemies would defame him. So my plight is to live blameless and above reproach. Funny, because all I desire is to destroy what has destroyed. That would be easier, right? Sure. But why walk the way of the wicked or stand in the presence of sinners, or sit in the seat of mockers (Psalm 1). There is so much more to life. So much more to the day.

I hope I sleep tonight. Just lift my burden, Lord. Speechless.


Anonymous said...

sorry baout the computer, but amen to what you say, and praise His love and steadfastness.. i'll pray for sleep tonite for you... and for me... peace ~ tom

Anonymous said...

i love you amy, you bring so much joy! -ames