Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Cheers to this

Isaiah 60:20-"Your sun will never set again, your moon will wane no more; the Lord will be your everlasting light and your days of sorrow will end."

So what's new, world? Babies are new, flowers are new, the millions of presents unwrapped this season are new. Oh that's right...my heart is new. Haha. No need to go into the "where I've been" in the intensity of it all, but I feel I should brief you on what I've learned in hopes that someone out there besides me will benefit. And if not, I did. (Smile)

1. Your validation, your worth...the value of who you are must not depend on a human being, or anything else on this earth. So funny how we give ourselves so easily in hopes that someone will tell us that we are ok, lovely, good enough...accepted. I have found that the place in which you can successfully define yourself must be above and unaffected by day-to-day changes. The consistency of that definition must be absolute. No changes, no fickle movements, no sudden lurches into darkness. Thus, I must conclude, that the only One who gives validation without regard to actions is something/someone that transcends time, transcends flighty hearts, immovable and virtually beyond our comprehension. Who is that one for you? Do you even have that One? A life of definition/value/worth being solely placed in an individual who is even remotely imperfect demands heartache. The heart is fragile...so why invest it in someone equally as fragile?

2. God is enough. There's a song we've probably sung for years..."All of you is more than enough for all of me for every thirst and every need. You satisfy me with your love. And all I have in you, is more than enough." How easily we sing those words, but re-read them if you have the chance. That song is completely scripture-filled. He promises that He will be enough. But do we trust? I haven't for a long time. But when you have nothing left...you either run or grasp. Thank God, I grasped.

3. God always answers your prayer. Haha...even when you didn't really know what you were praying for. I remember writing before all of anything happened saying, "Lord, send me someone." He did...He sent me Himself...unearthed incredible truth, destroyed the idol I constructed and started new. He continues to answer my prayer. Its funny...we are suprised when God actually does something, but I think it is due to lack of expectancy and trust...and furthermore, knowledge of who He is! If we even had a fraction of understanding (which is possible through your reading of Scripture) of who this God is, we'd be a lot less worried.

4. I suck at control. Every time in my life I've tried to gain control of something that was never originally my own, it falls apart. It has been like this since I can remember. It goes back to my first lesson...to which I do believe the majority of issues in this life return...I do not transcend time, I do not transcend heartbreak...I am ever-so shakeable. Silly girl. Silly world.

Tis the season of new...be it in empty resolutions swearing off chocolate for 300 days, running 6x a day for 30min a day, or be it in the remembrance of a birth that revolutionized history...Praise God for His new mercies every morning. Haha...and here's to a new lot in life.

2 comments:

A.G. Lewis said...

I haven't read something so well written and so well thought out in a long time. Well freekin done, "Lily".

Whether or not i'm the first person to read this, i know not. But i do know that i'll be the first to comment on benefitting from it. Thank you. Thanks be to God for teaching you those lessons (and myself as well), and thanks be to you who typed them so.

Keep your head up; fight the good fight.

miss mccoy said...

i seriously love you.
that's it...